Rocki: RESTORED and REBUILT

Our Year in Review

2011-03-15T09:54:00.000-04:00

California A look Back before it fell in the ocean - a state fair school...

2010-06-12T01:54:00.001-04:00

This was part of Tilly's 5th grade state fair project. She choose California for the project, this skit/report, coresponding with a pen pal from California, serving a state food, writing a report on a feature of the state (she choose the pacific coast highway, creating a visitors brochure, a display board, dressing like a historical figure or traditional dress (she was a movie star), and completing a binder with all the state facts made this project a big one. With the help of her friends the video report is funny and educational!

Cooper Plays

2010-01-21T03:57:00.004-05:00

Cooper started guitar lessons in mid-October...he is hooked.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Kathy Kelly

2009-11-01T13:35:00.003-05:00

In 2004 I served in prison with Kathy Kelly. A unique, strong and amazing woman who is fighting with all that she has for what she believes.

Kathy (born in 1953) of Chicago, Illinois is an American peace activist, pacifist, three-time Nobel Peace Prize nominee and one of the founding members of Voices in the Wilderness. In 1988 she was sentenced to one year in prison for planting corn on nuclear missile silo sites. Kelly served nine months of the sentence in a Lexington, KY maximum security prison.Kelly helped organize and participated in nonviolent direct action teams in Haiti (summer of 1994), Bosnia (December, 1992, August, 1993) and Iraq (Gulf Peace Team, 1991). In April 2002, she was among the first internationals to visit the Jenin camp in the West Bank.

When I met her in the spring of 2004, she served three months at Pekin federal prison for crossing the line as part of an ongoing effort to close the School of the Americas, an army military combat training school, at Fort Benning, GA. More recently, she has visited Gaza and Pakistan, writing eyewitness accounts of war’s impact on civilians.
Kathy Kelly is no stranger to coercion. For refusing to pay federal income taxes s her teaching salary was garnisheed; for repeated visits to Iraq to distribute toys and medicine to children, she and her associates have incurred thousands of dollars in fines, along with threats of imprisonment.

While reading the news that David Dellinger, one of the famous Chicago 7, had died in May 2004, I found that Kathy knew him personally and loaned me his book to read. She wrote several articles about the ladies she met while in Pekin Federal Prison which I occasionally have found on the internet. She was not your typical inmate. She certainly made an impression on me as a woman who lived life according to what she believed and was willing to give up everything for it including her salary, her freedom and even lay down her life.

Beatles for Breakfast

2009-10-25T13:29:00.000-04:00

I had the day off last Friday. It had been a long week. We all were fighting the flu, Cooper and Tilly stayed home from school two days and I tried to be at work and at home with them at the same time. Tilly was home one day last week, I am not sure what we had was H1N1 but two girls in my children’s ministry at church had been diagnosed and Tilly told me that the boy that sits across from her had been out for a week with what they thought was Swine Flu. My flu started last week and every couple of days a new symptom popped up. Runny nose, sore throat, horrible cough and then a retched stomach ache. I was glad it was Friday and even happier that it was my day off, although I was planning on working from home and going into work for a couple hours.

I decided that Friday morning was going to be special, we all needed some fun. I cranked up all my favorite Beatles tunes and decided it was going to be Beatles for breakfast. I belted out “Here Comes the Suns…doo da doo doo…” as I mixed up some pancakes, Tilly and I slow danced in the kitchen to “Let it Be” and “Yesterday” between flipping the pancakes on the griddle, we all “Coo Coo Ca Choo-ed” at the table, and we silly danced to “Get Back” and “Sgt Pepper”. My favorite moment was while I brushed Tilly’s hair, the kids both sitting on my bed, all 3 of us rocking back and forth singing “Ob La Di Ob La Da life goes on…oh Lalala life goes on”. Cooper and I looked up the guitar chords for a couple Beatles’ songs that he might learn to play. I was still singing the lovely ballad, “I will”, to them as we walked out the door for school. I think I played “Blackbird”, my all time favorite Beatles song twice (I was so inspired that I made a Pandora radio station off of “Blackbird” that I listened to while I worked on the computer later that morning).

It was a fun and memorable morning. Isn’t it nice to share something that you love with your kids? I am not even sure they knew I liked the Beatles before that day, I guess maybe I had forgotten too.

My New Blog

2009-10-24T01:18:00.000-04:00

I have been so busy and unable to keep up with this blog, so I decided to start another blog. That kind of backward logic always gets me into trouble.

Actually, it’s because this has been a really rough year at work (I know that most of the country can say that). Between the 10% pay cut, commission checks that are as pathetic as my sales and our 4 day work week, my income is on target to be about ½ of what is was last year. I am not complaining though. I still have a job and God has provided for me without fail.

In June I lost my biggest account, plus their sister company. Half my corporate clients have been on a spending freeze for months (although it seems that it looseing up in the last quarter)
At the end of August I made up my mind that I was going to change the direction my job was going by putting more effort towards it. That is one thing I have always liked about sales, for the most part you get out of it what you put into it.

I decided to make a deal with myself that I would go full throttle, working more hours and thinking outside the box, for 6 months as an experiment to see what the ROI would be for me. Not that I had been giving less than my best at work but it had been so stressful this year that I often couldn’t wait to leave work. Once it was 5pm I wanted to leave it all behind and I did. Working more, a couple hours each night, working 5 days even if I was paid for 4…meant giving up some things that were filling that time normally. I watch far less TV, I spend less time on the computer blogging or browsing Face Book, etc. Working from home on the weekends and for a couple hours after the kids go to bed each night has become pretty routine for me (I can log in to my work computer from my home PC). The 9:30 to Midnight block used to be filled with finishing up a couple chores and then watching TV or sitting at the computer. The chores can’t be skipped so…bye bye free time. I have tried not to take any time away from my kids. I will skip the chores if, say, Cooper wants to play a game of Boggle or Tilly wants me to help her with something. I am still working on juggling my new dedication to work while maintaining my essential order of priorities.

The tasks of my job pretty much falls into 3 categories.

1. Sales/Developing New Business…Prospecting, cold calling, relationship building, keeping enough prospects in different stages in my sales funnel that I continuously bring new business in.
2. Account Management; presenting product ideas, quoting and writing up orders for my current clients as well as managing the online stores of my program clients.
3. Marketing; I send a weekly email blast to around 3000 contacts of our sales team, I set up promotions and now I have started a business blog.

So back to my original point…My new blog’s http://www.sullivangroup.blogspot.com/ has replaced what used to be our companies “monthly specials” link on our website.

There was really nothing special or monthly about the page before. We had a hard time keeping the specials up to date and I rarely ever got orders from those who found the link. I wanted a page where we could have up to minute specials and sale notifications on a more diverse product offering than just the half a dozen items we would call our “specials” for 3 or 4 months.

I wanted a place where I could pass on all the products and ideas I run across as I am searching and sourcing products for customer projects and quotes. I send one email blast out a week, anymore would be annoying, usually featuring one specific product. With the blog we can post as often as we like and include a bigger variety of thousands of products available with logos that we offer.

I have just started to promote the blog, I wanted to have something there to look at before I sent customers and prospects to it. I am still trying to find the right voice for the writing, oscillating between sticking with the professional image that Sullivan’s projects and adding a little humor or irreverence to make it more enjoyable to visit the blog. I want to stick to the main objective, which is to present product ideas, educate visitors to the products available, and provide up to date sales and specials. But I also want to vary the posts to reach a broader audience.

See what you think of the new blog? And of course send all the referrals you can think of to it…or let me know if you know someone who buys promotional products and apparel for their company.

And of course I will let you know what the return on my Full Throttle investment is.

My Rock Stars

2009-09-21T23:16:00.001-04:00

Rock Star Tilly and her rescue dog Grizzom (known here as Grizz-Master-D) were in the Apple Festival Pets and Pals Parade of Fashion Show again this year.

Prayers for a Solider and his Mom

2009-09-15T18:21:00.005-04:00

An entry from the journal that I kept while in Pekin Federal Prison

March 21, 2004…

“I’ve been praying for Dustin since Kim arrived.
Her son was headed overseas. She was trapped inside this prison. The separation bigger and deeper than mere imprisonment divides. I wrote her a prayer straight from scripture…"hide him in the shadow of Your wings until these calamities have passed…let no weapon be formed against him…etc” She hung it on her bulletin bored and prayed it every night – a sincere fervent prayer from a mothers heart.
He died. Shot and killed in a training accident.
A brash employee delivered the news. His body is still in Germany – out of Iraq in a body bag. Her tears. Her anger. She tore down my prayer from her bulletin board. She called out to me when she saw me stand by her bed. “You know…Rocki…You know how much I loved him.”
How could this happen. Did my prayers come back void? Why God?
She is strong. This administration is weak. The circumstances sting.”

Kim Legore's stay in prison was tragic. She arrived to Pekin Federal Prison Camp about a week or so after I did. She and I spent time in the "bus stop" together. The "bus stop" is a 13 man room where inmates live when they first arrive in prison before being assigned a bunk. Our stay in the "bus stop" lasted a little over a month. Kim was in prison on a paper crime. She was a bail bondsman and she insisted on cash for a bond from a particularly sketchy client. A prosecutor then accused her of accepting drug money, and Kim was convicted of money laundering. Kim believed she wasn't responsible for determining how her client had raised the money. She did not get a lengthy sentence – I think it was 9 months. But it still seemed excessive to me.

As she was going to prison her son 19 year old son, a solider in the U.S. Army, was headed to Germany and then to Iraq. He was in her every thought. She was worried about him and we discussed her concerns often. On the page before this journal entry I scratched a prayer list, “Dustin in Iraq” is part of that list.

He was killed in a training accident in a city north of Baghdad. See a memorial page for him here.
I can remember when the news spread across the prison. I literally felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I was certain that the information was incorrect, after all I had been faithfully praying him and I had all the confidence in the world that God's hand was protecting this solider. My faith was shaken and then strengthened as I let Jesus speak to me through my anger. I found myself able to not question why God had let this happen but to believe through all things that God was good, all the time. Kim was given a short 3 day furlough to travel back home to watch her son be buried and then brought back to finish her prison sentence.

72 days later Kim’s other son, Sean, who was 29, died from complications during back surgery.

I do not even know how to comprehend what Kim went through. A woman who lost both of her children within three months time while forcibly separated from her relatives and her community. Grief was an understatement.

I have not thought about Kim in a long while. I pray that Kim has let Jesus speak to her through her anger and that she has come to believe that God is good, all the time.

Boys at the Lake

2009-09-07T00:35:00.000-04:00

Shooting Prayers

2009-09-03T23:03:00.003-04:00

Well, tonight was the last game for our rec league soccer. (We still have the whole fall season ahead for Tilly’s travel league soccer)

Cooper and Tilly’s team, the Foxes, took third in the tournament…for the second year in a row. The first game of the single elimination tournament was probably one of the most fun soccer games I have ever been to.

That game they played Saturday night under the lights at the soccer fields. The whole team played full throttle for the entire game. They were equally matched and ended up tied 1 to 1 at the end of the 4th quarter. After two 5 minute over time periods they were tied 2-2. The game came down to a sudden death shoot off. The coach from each team sent a goalie and 5 players who each had a turn, one on one, to shoot a goal from the penalty line. After those 5 all took a turn we were still tied. 5 more were sent out to shoot. 7 kids from each team shot at the goal before the Foxes were declared the winner. You would have thought it was the SuperBowl. It was exciting, tense, kids screaming, the crowd rooting, parents holding their breath…it was fun.

But here is my favorite part of the night. When Tilly was sent out to the middle of the field to wait for her turn to shoot during the shoot out, she and two of her teammates decided to take a minute and pray aloud together.

When the kids were recounting their part in the game to me that night, Cooper mentioned that he was praying too.

Win or Lose…I am so glad the kids remembered who to turn to when their facing a challenge...the One who is in charge of everything…the One who can give them strength and courage, the One who is their help and friend.

My Prediction for the 2009 Christmas Toy Craze

2009-08-28T06:53:00.003-04:00

What can make a normally sane adult stand in the rain for 9 hours in the middle of the night waiting for a store to open, or turn a mild mannered mama into a maniac who will push down other mothers to get there goal? Wacky but true every year there is some sort of must have toy to hit the shelves before Christmas. Think...Tickle Me Elmo.

In 1984 shortly before Christmas Cabbage Patch Kids, created by artist Xavier Roberts arrived and created chaos in toy shops across the land as parents competed to buy one of the sought after dolls. My mom had a friend traveling in California bring home a Cabbage Patch Kid Doll for my sister and I.

Here is my prediction for this years craze...ZhuZhu Hamsters. If your smart (or if you cave to all the pressures of Christmas advertising every year) and you have little kids you will go out and buy one right now. Mark my words.

“Our Zhu Zhu Pets Hamsters are truly unlike anything on the market,” says Craig Ceranna, Marketing
Director of Cepia, LLC. “They drive around in little cars, zip up ramps and spin down slides, run in their
hamster wheels, and get into all sorts of crazy situations. But those are just the vehicles! The hamsters
even know what room they’re in. They make toilet-flushing or teeth-brushing sounds when they crawl
into the bathroom and sleeping noises and alarm-clock sounds when they go into their bedroom. They’re
completely interactive as if they have a mind of their own. Zhu Zhu Pets not only appeal to young children;
they charm and fascinate people of all ages.”

http://www.zhuzhupets.com/main.html

Girls at the Lake

2009-08-23T20:26:00.000-04:00

First Day of School

2009-08-20T14:26:00.007-04:00

First Day Back to School 2009 - Tilly is in 5th grade and Cooper is in 4th grade.

First Day of School 2008

First Day of School 2007 First Day of School at Nappanee Elementary - 2006 Tilly is in 2nd and Cooper is in 1st.

First Day of Kindergarten 2005
First Day of 1st grade 2005
How can it be that I have a 4th and 5th grader!

Time could not be going faster!

Summer Camp

2009-07-31T22:06:00.004-04:00

Inside the journal that I kept during my stay at Pekin Federal Prison I found a picture that my friend Becky had sent me in a letter. It was a picture of us at summer camp. We must have been about 10 years old. Becky Sumpter, Sheryl Martz, Debbie Pippenger, and I went to Camp Tannadoona together. The three of them are on their knees in the picture holding the sign, I am standing behind Becky on the right. We are posing at the top of the stairs. At Camp Tannadoona you have to take 99 stairs to get down to the lake, the hard part is climbing back up those stairs after your done swimming.

Becky wrote letters to me while I was imprisoned, I am sure she sent this picture just to make me smile. It did then and it did again the other day when I rediscovered my journal.

Perfect timing really because Tilly just got home from Quaker Haven church camp today. She had a blast. She enthusiastically has been telling me about all the fun things they did...capture the flag, a talent show, silly cabin capers, boating with her counselor (who told Tilly's grandma when she picked her up today that Tilly was her all time favorite camper), KP duty and scavenger hunts. She also told me about "cry night" - she said that cry night was the night that the pastor preached about all that Jesus had done for them and they all prayed. And that "everyone cried"..."even the boys" she said.

I think Tilly got a kick out of seeing my picture from summer camp. I am so glad that she and Cooper both had the opportunity to go to camp again this summer. They both say they can't wait until next year.

New Year 2005

2009-07-30T07:30:00.003-04:00

Copied from my journal while I was at Pekin Federal Prison, this would have been my 2nd holiday season that I spent in prison.

"Dec 31 New Years Eve

We had a nice get together in the alley - Champagne glasses made out of cut and filled clear plastic water bottles.

We picked resolutions out of a bucket...mine said "You will start to believe in people, otherwise tomorrow it could be God himself you won't believe in."

We had a quintet sing a harmonious Auld Ang Singe with altered lyrics ... "Oh Free Us All" - La La La.

It never ceases to surprise me - the human capacity to make the best in any circumstances."

An "Alley" is what we called the hall that our assigned room was in. There were 4 alleys per housing unit. On each alley there were about fifteen 2 man rooms and two 3 man rooms sectioned by cinder block half walls on both sides of the alley. The party we had was mostly ladies from our alley gathered at the end of the walkway.

I can't remember if we toasted with soda or possibly contraband grape juice from the kitchen, I do remember the champagne glasses that one of the ladies made by cutting the tops of water bottles off, filing the edge and gluing it to the cut off bottle bottom -(I drew a simple illustration in my journal) Who needs Martha when you have creativity like this...even though Martha Stewart was serving time in a federal prison at this time I bet she never made champagne glasses out of water bottles!
The ladies who sang the Auld Ang Singe had beautiful voices and harmonies. The extra verse of original lyrics was beautiful, although I do not get that across in the journal. I wish I would have wrote it down.

Stuck in pages of the journal is the little piece of paper that I drew out of the bucket with my fortune cookie style resolution.

We tried hard, especially during the holidays, to take our minds off the fact that we were all away from the ones we loved and longed to be celebrating with. Although I attended this party in my grey sweatpants and white t-shirt, it was one of the classiest New Years Parties I have been to.

Prison Journal

2009-07-29T08:57:00.004-04:00

As you may remember the entire contents of my house was packed into boxes and taken away to be cleaned after we had a small but smokey furnace fire in January. Well it is July and I hate to admit it but I am still unpacking boxes.

Last night, as I was trying to sort the contents of one of the unpacked boxes, I discovered the journal I kept while I was in prison. I had not seen it since 2005, I almost forgot that it existed. I am sorry to say I was not very diligent about keeping a journal, sometimes there are weeks between entries. I wrote so many letters to family and friends that I did not feel the need to write to myself. Yet still there are many entries that take me back to the very day they were scribed. My mom sent the journal book to me for Christmas while I was in Pekin Federal Prison.

There are a few little notes and pictures stuck in the pages of the thin hard back fabric covered book. These little scrapes and clippings bring back a flood of memories - some foggy and some crystal clear.

One of the notes tucked in my journal is the complete lyrics to the Beatles song, Rocky Raccoon. Another inmate, Lucy, wrote them down and gave it to me. I cannot remember why exactly. Just a piece of notebook paper with her bubbly college girl hand writing. At the end she fills up 7 lines with Do, Do Do Do Do Do, Do, Do Do Do - etc.

She was a funny girl. She was probably just bored and had that song in her head, you try writing the lyrics to a song you love without hearing the song. It is harder than you think...I am sure that we talked about it as I am a big Beatles fan too. The lyric sheet was probably a gift to me to make me smile.

Her "room" was just across the "alley" from mine. We called the walkway between the half walls that made up "rooms" the alley. Each housing unit had four alleys. So the ladies who lived on your alley were the ones you saw the most.

Lucy is epileptic. I saw her have several seizures while I was there. Waiting for a nurse to come from the FCI next door was intense during a seizure. She is a dynamite softball player. She comes from a good family, her dad was the fire chief in Bloomington, Il (or somewhere like that). Lucy is a super bright girl, a total math whiz. She had gotten through a couple years of college before she acquired a horrible heroin addiction. She ended up robbing a bank to support her habit which landed her in federal prison.

(Little bit of useless info...all bank robberies are Federal crimes because they are FDIC ...let me tell you that there were more than a few bank tellers in that prison, guess it's too tempting for some)

Lucy could tell some crazy stories about her life as a heroin addict. She robbed her own money bag when she was manager of a sub shop and said she got mugged...she made the report in the police station while holding onto a bag with a sandwich and the missing money.

I hope she is doing ok. I occasionally look for her on Face Book, but so far I have not found her. I pray that she got to go back to college and that her parents gave her another chance.

Bikini Bandit

2009-07-28T23:09:00.004-04:00

SOUTHAVEN, Miss. – Police in Mississippi say a woman was carjacked by a bikini-clad suspect, who they say later tried to rob an RV dealership. Southaven Police Chief Tom Long said the suspect, a 24-year-old woman wearing a bikini, approached another woman in her driveway and demanded the car on Thursday. The woman gave up the car without a fight, asking only for time to remove her young children from inside.
Long said the suspect then drove the car to the RV business, where she told employees she had a gun and demanded money. The employees did not believe the claim and restrained her until officers arrived.
Police said the suspect appeared to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol. She was charged with carjacking and assault.
___
Information from: DeSoto Times Today

I get a kick out of stupid news stories...and this one had me laughing today.
Two things...
1. It is sort of hard conceal a gun in your bikini, no wonder they did not believe she had a gun.
2. An RV Dealership doesn't seem like the best place to hit up for cash now a days.

People like this make me feel really smart. Maybe that is why I got a laugh out of this story.

I Blog Do You?

2009-07-25T10:01:00.003-04:00

In the beginning of 2008 my cousin and friend, Steve, started writing a blog. He called it and addressed it, I Blog Do You? "Good question", I thought. I enjoy reading blogs from local folks, especially Steve, as well as blogging pros now and then. In January '08 my kids, Cooper and Tilly, jumped on the blogging bandwagon and began reporting their lives on their own blogs.

In April 2008 during Spring Break I took the opportunity of a quiet house (my kids were staying with grandma) to answer Steve's question..."Yes, I blog too." I said as I set out to carve out my own corner of cyber space to publish my thoughts.

Blogging was great fun to me. I love to talk and tell stories, blogging seemed a natural fit. I am an ok writer, as far as getting my thoughts across. But I struggle with punctuation and grammar. I write like I speak...long run on sentences, reiterating myself several times.

I began filling my blog with things I thought people might be interested to read...my experience in prison, my ministry born out of that experience and my life as God was restoring me. (click the links for an older post in that category). I write alot about my kids, because I know everyone is waiting with baited breath to hear the true and amazing stories of Tilly and Cooper. Well, my mom who lives 2000 miles away is probably the most appreciative of this. (oh and maybe Grandpa JB, who lives close by but who cannot get enough of those kids). But I have always wanted my blog to be something more than just a family memoir. I wanted to use this media as a way to share my testimony, a written tale of God's Grace.

I watched my stats for the first year or so, seeing how many people visit my blog. Some days dozens and sometimes barely any. I was always surprised to hear from people when they told me they had they been reading my blog. Old friends, and friends of a friend of an acquaintance, others I have never met other than in the blogasphere.

I have not looked at my stats for months...I am afraid I would confirm what I suspect, no one is reading my blog. As it turns out if you want people to visit your blog you have to actually keep writing posts! And I have been hit and miss, at best, in 2009.

So now I answer Steve's question again, "I blog do you?"

"uhh, sometimes..?"

I am not sure why I can't seem to get back in the blogging habit. I think of ideas that I would like to post all the time, but I do not take the time to focus my thoughts into comprehendable paragraphs.

I am going to keep blogging, at a much less prolific rate than my buddy Steve or some of the other bloggers I enjoy.

Oh Well, I have a feeling that Steve might be the only one reading this.

And he withdrew his question this week...he moved his blog from www.iblogdoyou.com To just www.stevegall.com - I guess I don't have to worry about changing my answer.

Summer Camp

2009-07-18T08:31:00.003-04:00

Last Sunday we dropped Cooper off for camp at Camp Mollenhour DNR Conservation Camp in Silver Lake, IN. We had been talking about it for months, he had been so excited.

Normally the kids both go to church camp at Quaker Haven, which is where their Grandparents go to church and is on the same lake where they live. The kids know that camp like the back of their hand. It is very familar, they can even canoe across the lake to say hi to grandma in the middle of camp.

But this year Cooper heard about Conservation Camp and it really seemed like a camp for him. At Camp Mollenhour boys ages 9-15 can go for a week to learn about boating, hunting, fishing, wildlife and other cool stuff that Cooper loves.

On Sunday right before we left Cooper got cold feet. He had been super excited but when it was time to load up and head for camp, he did not want to go. He was nervous. He did not know a single person at this camp, had never been there before and all of the sudden Sunday through Friday seemed like a really long time to my 9 year old guy.

We told him he had to at least try it. That if he got too homesick he could come home. When we dropped him off, I was the one who got nervous. It seemed that Cooper was one of only a few 9 year olds at camp. Most of the boys were 12 and up it seemed. In fact when I made his bunk up and got him settled in the cabin I looked around and all the boys in his cabin were 13 and 14 year olds, maybe a couple 11 and 12 year olds. Alot of the kids seemed to know each other and had been to camp before.

I was not preparred for being so sad to leave him! I was worried about him all week. I could not stop thinkng of him. Did I packed the right things? Is he meeting friends? Every morning I would wake up and think, "Cooper is in the water." At Camp Mollenhour the director turns on a siren of a sheriffs car at 6am every morning and the boys have to hustle out to the lake to jump in and wake themselves up! It was in the fifty's every morning this week and I wondered if he was freezing. I even put Cooper on the prayer chain at church.

We picked Cooper up from camp yesterday at 6:00pm. He had a great time. He shot clay pigeons with riffles, identified fish, he scored 92 % on his Hunting Saftey DNR test, he earned DNR patches in both hunting and boating saftey, he fished with bass pros, rode in fan boats, swam and scuba-ed, shot a bow and caught a baby milk snake named Spot. And he learned this pledge... I give my pledge as an American to save and faithfully to defend from waste the natural resources of my country - it's soil and minerals, forests, waters and wild life.
.

Nintendo Rules!

2009-06-30T22:36:00.012-04:00

For Christmas my daughter, Tilly, got a Nintendo DS Lite. I bought it from Amazon. I picked the super cute Ice Blue with a little patten leather carry case. She loved it. We all loved it. The whole family got hooked on playing Brain Age, trying to out intellect each other in the brain games.

In April, Tilly's DS would not turn on. We charged it and it still would not turn on. We tried plugging it in to different outlets to see if that was the problem. The charging light came on but it seemed as though it was not charging at all. It was just dead. At the time we were just getting ready to move back into to our house after being displaced by the fire and figuring out what was wrong with the DS was not high on the priority list. I knew I could not return it to Amazon as they have a 30 day return policy. We had not kept the box and I was not sure what the warranty was on the game system.

One evening in the beginning of June I went on Nintendo's website and started the product trouble shooter. After the website could not recognize the serial number from Tilly's DS (turns out when you buy a product online the serial number is not reported with the purchase, unlike when you buy a product at Walmart and the number is registered as it is scanned) the trouble shooting ended with a phone number to call. As I dialed I was thinking "oh great, I will be on hold forever and then end up talking to someone who barely speaks English..." Nothing peeves me more than bad customer service.

But surprisingly I was about to be impressed with Nintendo's customer service. I was directed by a short automated answer system to a real live human being within a minute of placing my call. She was nice and helpful and American. She ran me through a couple of simple, quick tests - like plugging it in and asking which lights came on. After about 2 minutes she told me that she was emailing me a pre-paid Fed Ex label and asked me if I could provide a box to ship it to Nintendo's service center. She gave me a service tracking number and told me I would be able to track the progress of the repair. It took 13 days from phone call to receiving the DS back. That is pretty darn good considering it took me a couple days to mail it and it had sent to California and back.

The DS works perfectly again. And my year long warranty started over from the time it was repaired. Now that is customer service that keeps customers! Even though I had a problem with the product I am still raving over the manufacturer! I am officially a Nintendo Fan.

I'm Bored...Idea #2

2009-06-29T00:00:00.001-04:00

On Saturday evening after a day in the sun, soccer try outs, grilling steaks for dinner and bike riding...Tilly came to me saying..."I'm Bored."

So we decided to make salt dough. I had not done this for years but it is super easy, made from stuff you usually have in your cupboard (although I did have to run down and borrow some salt from Kristi because we were short) and kept us busy for hours.

1 cup salt

1 cup water

3 cups flour

2 tsp oil

And presto...instant entertainment. Hands are busy, creativity is cookin', a quiet time for great conversation, a cheap and easy way to mix up some mother daughter memories.

We are planning on painting our creations the next time she is bored.

If You're Bored...Idea #1

2009-06-27T22:41:00.005-04:00

Our summer days and nights have been packed full of recitals, ball games and sleepovers and such. All through the spring and the first weeks of summer vacation we have been running at a crazy pace. But now that are between baseball and soccer seasons our pace is slower and I find my kids saying "I'm Bored...".
I actually think my kids are pretty good at entertaining themselves. They have great imaginations and still find many adventures to get caught up in. We live in a neighborhood full of kids and they are independent enough this summer to ride their bikes to their friends houses and play in backyards and at the park or the school playground. Yet still, with all the hours of free time they have on their hands...I hear from time to time..."I am bored..."
If you are finding yourself in a similar situation here is an idea...

Go to Bonneville Mill in Bristol.

We took a picnic up to Bonneville County Park on Friday with our cousins, The Galls and The Millers (who are visiting from Nevada). The kids had a wonderful time...and so did the adults. Steve scheduled a private tour of the mill by calling the Elkhart County Parks Department. The cost was $1.00 per person. We had a group of 12. The tour of the historic mill that grinds corn, wheat, rye and buckwheat was interesting and kept moving at a good pace. The tour included many nuggets of education not only about history, but of gears and pulleys, machinery, agriculture and even nutrition. There were hands on activities and they turned the mill on so we could see one of the original giant stones grinding corn.

The park is a beautiful place with a look out tower to climb, a stream to wade in and plenty of areas for a shady picnic. This county park is located in the heart of Elkhart County. The park is open everyday from May - October from 10am - 5pm.

If you are in Northern Indiana this is a great close by, get away for the day.

Crazy Day

2009-06-05T09:17:00.003-04:00

This Saturday looks like it will be quite the crazy day for us and I am wondering how I am going to be everywhere I need to be...

8am - Little Paws Playground Work Day - re-sealing and making repairs to our community built playground to keep it safe for our community.

9:30 am - Cooper needs to be at the park to warm up for his 10:30 baseball game.

Noon - Cooper has a double Header - he will be playing back to back games to make up for a rained out game earlier in the season.

2:00 pm - Tilly's travel soccer team, the Pumas, have their Tourney this weekend at the Jr Irish fields up by the airport in South Bend. Her first game is at 2:45 pm.

5:15 pm - If they win the first game - which they surely will - they advance to play again.

7:00pm - Tilly's dance recital begins in Warsaw. Her dance is not until the second half of the show and it takes an hour and 10 minutes to drive from the Jr Irish fields to Warsaw High School, so we figure that we can let her play for a good part of the game and still make it before intermission. Her team is already down one player for the second game - another girl who is in the dance recital - so they will need Tilly to be able to sub out.

I try not to let Tilly and Cooper's schedule's get to crazy by limiting how many activities they participate in at the same time...but somehow things all boiled down to this week. Everyday we have had running to do. In a couple weeks things will slow down. At least until Kiwanis soccer starts in July.

Memorial Day Weekend!

2009-05-25T17:12:00.009-04:00

Our weekend was great fun that included...

a Little League Game...

Fun with Grandma and Grandpa at the lake. Both the kids went swimming off the boat in the middle of the chilly lake! We all played in an awesome family/neighborhood ball game. Family ball games are a tradition all summer long for the Stillson's, but this game was especially fun because Aunt Jess (an amazing left fielder:) was visiting from Arizona and we recruited some neighborhood kids to join us, so we actually had an outfield.We walked (well I walked, the kids skated on their Heelys) in the Goshen Memorial Day parade to show our support for our favorite candidate for sheriff...Julie Dijkstra!

I love holiday weekends!

Soccer!

2009-05-18T18:59:00.003-04:00

To see Tilly and the Northwood Soccer Club Pumas in Action Click to enlarge.

Blogging Break?

2009-05-01T14:03:00.005-04:00

I guess I ended up taking the entire month of April off from posting on my blog. Probably by now no one is even checking to see if I have a new post.

What did I do with all the time I wasn't blogging?

Working on the house - we are not finished by a long shot, but the new carpet, paint, bathroom sink and vanity, lights, furniture and etc are all making the house look alot better than a few months ago!

Unpacking - First Response and Certified Restoration Dry Cleaning brought back all our belongings in about 400 cardboard boxes. Each item delicately (and annoyingly) wrapped in foam, cello tape or tissue paper. The unpacking is going slow because we are rarely home more than a few hours at a time.

Soccer - Tilly is on the Northwood Soccer Club's travel soccer team this year. She practices 3 times a week and has games all over. We were in Marion last weekend.

Baseball - Cooper's games have begun, I think their is only one Saturday in the whole month of May that he does not have a game...it is tomorrow. (but he does have a 3 hour practice tomorrow)

Jail Ministry - I have begun a new bible study class every other Friday night at the Elkhart County Jail. I am truly the one being blessed by my time there.

Church - I am still involved with the youth ministry, planning VBS, and other ministries at the church...which by the way has officially changed it's name and denomination. We are Grace Point, An Evangelical Presbyterian Church.

Tearing Down Walls

2009-03-28T17:01:00.011-04:00

This is a door way from my kitchen to my den. This is looking from the kitchen.

Same door way from the den looking to the kitchen. We decided to transform the den into a breakfast/computer room by taking down this wall.

Going...

Going...
Going.Gone.

I think I am going to love my new breakfast room!

What is in a Name?

2009-03-21T09:49:00.004-04:00

My church has officially left our denomination (Presbyterian USA) and thanks to other churches also leaving the denomination who paid half of our buyout we will own our building (that we already paid for), for just $40,000 more.

One of the tasks at hand for my church is renaming itself. We will be part of the Evangelical Presbyterian denomination but we can choose any name we like. The congregation will have the opportunity to suggest names and the elders will make the final decision. For me, this is a symbolic way for us the have a fresh start without erasing the solid foundation we have built. I have been praying and thinking about the importance of the name we will choose.

We do not have to include Evangelical Presbyterian in the name. Certainly it is a trend for new churches to not include their denomination in the name. I read where someone wrote “For some, this is a pragmatic concession to avoiding doors where there should be windows in a church’s public image.”

Should the name of our church tell you who we are before you ever walk in the door or should our name welcome you in so that we can tell you about it ourselves? I think we should avoid any name that excludes people…I for one, and I might be the only one, think we should leave our Presbyterian baggage out of the name. Even if we hang our new Evangelical status on the title Presbyterian, which we would have to if we were to use Presbyterian according to our dismissal guidelines from PCUSA, we still would be boxing ourselves into a denomination and excluding others who are not a part of that denomination. I would say that few people driving by our church on State Road 19 would know the difference between Presbyterian and Evangelical Presbyterian.

We could be geographical in our name and tell you where we are. Heritage Street Church, Main Street Evangelical Presbyterian Church or Northwood Community Church.

We could go for a cool, hip-even, “emerging” church name. The kind of name that sounds more like a club or a rock band, than a church, like Revolution, The Rock, Elevation, Mosaic, Impact (these are all real names of existing churches). I read this guys blog and found that there is even a church called The Scum of Earth. I was thinking Grave Deifiers, Filthy Rags Community, Metamorphis, maybe get all the little boys excited Transformer Church.

But seriously how about The Lighthouse? That is cool and hip but also part of our church mission statement, which says that we are to be a lighthouse, a greenhouse and safe house.

Maybe we should stick with a name that gets to the point of who we are – keeping words that explain our very essence in the name; Christ, Cross, Grace. Maybe we should POINT the way there… Gracepointe, Cross Pointe, Christ’s Community.

Hmmm….any suggestions?

Answer to Searching

2009-03-21T09:21:00.004-04:00

At the end of 2008 I began to blog about my spiritual search for the right church. I had been dismayed by the seeming lukewarm energy of my small church. I began to seek God’s will for my church life and along with 2 friends from my church began to pray for revival. Because of the fire in my house and the subsequent moving around I feel like I never quite finished my thoughts here on my blog.

I am sure that my little Sunday school class were not the only 3 praying for revival of our church, and I am sure that others had been praying long before October but I believe that God placed me in part of His perfect timing as an answer to my search for the right church. I believe this because there has hardly been a Sunday (or any day) since October, when we began to pray, that I have not seen God move in my church in a huge way; ripping open the heavens and sending us His spirit, bringing us new faces, showing us new ways to be His hands and feet, confirming our prayers, open new doors and shutting other doors and showing us the Way. God seems to be moving in my little church in ways that even the nonspiritual observer cannot deny.

If you have been reading and wondering what I have decided in my church search; I will be staying with my present church. But my church will not be staying the same old church.

Blessed

2009-03-19T20:10:00.002-04:00

God has provided for me in ways that are so evident in my life. I was stripped down to nothing while in prison. No children, no money, no possessions, no control. The Great God of Second Chances has restored and rebuilt my life in all the ways that we humans count as blessings. I have a home, I have my children, I have a job, and I have an address book of names of those who I count as friends. He has also blessed me in many ways that humans seem too miss as blessings. As I spoke to a group of Jr High kids last week about how Jesus transformed my life I was blessed. God has given me freedom. And I have stayed chained to His side.

Over the last few months my home has temporarily been taken away from me due to our fire and yet it is a perfect blessing. I feel as if God answered prayers through our fire. It has not been hard to praise Him for the fire when all the blessings are pouring in.

The economy has taken a toll on my paycheck. Since I work mostly on commission our lack of sales affects me directly. In the last month my hours have been cut to 4 days a week, which made my small salary miniscule. Today my eyes welled up with tears when I went back to my office from a meeting where we were told that our pay would be cut by 10% including my commission. I started in on my calculator trying to figure where I would save the difference. My heart started to pinch; a scowl crept across my face. I trudged home from work feeling defeated.

Then I remembered all of what I wrote in the first paragraph. I remembered how God has taken care of me. I praise God for all He has done and all He will do. I know that He continues to bless me in ways that are worth much more than money. I know that many are in the same economic situation; I do not have to look far to see those that are much worse off than me.

But here is what I know; that there is nothing that anyone could take away from me that would mean more to me than my God. If I have Jesus, I have everything.

MEALTIME MINISTRIES

2009-03-09T08:46:00.002-04:00

My little church is acting in a big way to help our community which has been hard hit by the economic recession. So far God has provided in many ways for us to be able to begin a new ministry and we are trusting in Him to help us continue to provide.

MEALTIME MINISTRIES

A free weekly meal for unemployed and underemployed
individuals and their families in the Wa-nee community.

Every Tuesday
Supper will be served at 5:30pm

Location is at the:

First Presbyterian Church
(in the Family Life Center)
1155 N Main St
Nappanee, IN
574-773-3773

Spread the word to those that have lost their jobs or have had their hours cut. This is a great opportunity for our community to work together and help each other. You can help by donations of money and food or volunteer! There are time slots for cooking, serving and clean up. (Volunteers get to eat too!)

Matthew 25:35 "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,"

Where There is Smoke there is New Carpet

2009-03-07T21:23:00.006-05:00

Here is what I have been up to…

Ordering new carpet
Getting gas lines run to the house
Deciding on flooring for the kitchen
Throwing away things and sorting out non salvageable stuff in my storage room
Waiting on insurance estimates and approvals
Buying a new sofa, throwing the old one in the dumpster outside
Putting my clean laundry away into the boxes that we are living out of
Surviving with only 2 pairs of shoes (I know most women did not know this was even possible)
Preparing walls to be primed and painted
Sorting through the plethora of paint color chips that I have collected
Wheeling and dealing to get a good deal on my new furnace and air conditioner (Those are Installed but not running until an approval is reached on the scope of duct work)
Trying to make everything fit in my budget
Feeling blessed that God continues to provide for me in ways that I could not have ever imagined.

Facebook Hijacking

2009-02-24T22:08:00.005-05:00

I was sleeping just before midnight on Sunday when my cell phone rang. I tried to ignore it but it rang again a couple minutes later. I answered it. A man said "Rocki?" I had no idea who it was. After a few minutes of fumbling around and trying to wake my mind up, I figured out it was David, an old friend who I have not seen in at least 6 or 7 years. When I inquired with him if he was aware that it was midnight and told him it was too late to call, he told me "I am chatting with you right now on Facebook."

Surprised, I said "No David, I am asleep."

But he insisted that I had just asked him to call me while chatting on Facebook. I went to the computer and logged on. Sure enough I (or someone who was impersonating me and using my Facebook identity) was chatting with him and a couple of my other "friends".

My status had been changed to "Rocki is Scared."

I am now, I thought.

I quickly logged onto the email account that is connected to my Facebook account. All my emails that I had filed or were in my inbox were gone, they had been erased. I switched back to Facebook and scrolled through the chatting "I" was doing with several friends.

The chat went something like this…

Rocki:
David, I am having a bad day
David:
What’s up
Rocki:
I got a letter from my doctor today and I have a brain tumor
David:
R U kidding
Rocki:
No I am serious, I do not know what to do,
I have not told Jud yet, I am freaking out
David:
I am sorry, I thought you were kidding, what can I do?
Rocki:
I am crying and freaking out! can you call me>?
David:
What is your number?
Rocki:
I cant even think right now, just please call me!
David:
I am looking for the number hold on
Rocki:
RING ME!
David:
Im trying…One sec.

Once he got a hold of me he continued the chat...

David:
Who is this?
Rocki:
Who else?
David:
I just called Rocki and woke her up.
Rocki :
You did not. What is my number?
Go Bleep Bleep! You Bleeping bleep!

This type of chat – with a slight variation in the script, sobbing about a about a brain tumor and then turning lewd and full of expletives happened 3 times with 3 of my Facebook friends who unluckily happened to be logged on at the same time. The "impostor Rocki" wrote on Jud's wall...and it was not friendly. They changed my status several times, sticking again with the brain tumor story.

I tried to sign out of Facebook but it would not let me. I shut down the computer. My mind started reeling. Who would have my password? This person must know me. What are they doing with my emails? Looking for more information to steal? Is this a mean joke or a real hacker who is more malicious than just a couple of insults?

I understand that Facebook has had some cyber criminals who are scamming people out of their money as they assume a stolen Facebook identity and solicit friends for help. I have read about spam that is sent from hijacked accounts that spread viruses. But this fake Rocki was not asking for money or trying to send a tainted link, they were just being...mean.

I have changed my passwords and kept my eye on my bank account. It seems to have worked since there has been no unauthorized activity on my accounts since the password changes...still...I some how feel less safe.

4th Grade Project

2009-02-22T17:44:00.003-05:00

Tilly and I spent about 4 hours today doing her 4th grade history project. We studied Tillie Pierce, a 14 year old girl who witnessed the battle of Gettysburg up close when she escaped to a safehouse that ended up being in the middle of the battle. We mapped out Tillie's 3 day ordeal during the battle.

Cooper Bowl IV

2009-02-15T17:06:00.007-05:00

Last Saturday we celebrated Cooper's 9th birthday with a big party at the church. We had a blast!

We played many fun games, every one's favorite was the treasure hunt. Every year for the kid's birthdays I plan an elaborate hunt where the kids have to do stunts, decode clues or find hidden spots to follow a series of clues to lead them to a treasure. This year the clues took them all over the church. They hunted under the pews, sliding across the floor on their backs, scoured the books in the library to find the right title, performed a cheer for grandma, made up a commercial, shot baskets, unscrambled words, answered trivia and raced from room to find the next clue. Each team did a great job working together through 12 clues.

One game we played got messy! Using only their mouths the kids had to hunt for a piece of gum hidden in a pile of whipped cream, the first to blow a bubble was the winner! This was a fun game...we took turns racing about 5 kids at a time so the rest of the group could enjoy watching their classmates chew gum sporting a whip cream beard and mustache! And based on the laughter and giggles heard in this video the kids did enjoy it.

Nine Years Ago; Cooper

2009-02-04T20:07:00.004-05:00

Nine years ago today I had a son. Tilly was just 14 months old when she became a big sister.
Cooper has been "intense" from the moment he was born. He is a strong willed child. He has been a challenge to me as a mother from his very first days to this very day.

Although "intense", he is a loving and affectionate child. My favorite time of the day with him is bed time. I always lay down with him for 30 minutes and read. He loves to cuddle and listen. When the lights go out we pray. If I ever forget to pray, he will remind me.

He is goofy! He always has me laughing. Check out this funny video that the kids made and posted on their blogs.

He is bright! School comes easy for him. Teachers count on him to have an answer to most any question. His teacher told me that but I also noticed that when I started teaching his age group at church, if no one has their hand up you can count on Cooper to know the answer.

He is extreme…when something interests him he dives in full throttle, or if he gets something in his head it is there for good, you will have a hard time convincing him otherwise. He does things his way.

For example – an "extreme interest"; When he was in kindergarten he read a book about the Titanic. He loved it. We made a time line out of pieces of computer paper taped together, each year was represented by about an inch. He wanted to see how long it was that the Titanic sat in the bottom of the ocean before they found it. He also basically memorized the first couple chapters of the book, he knew all the facts, statistics and dates regarding the Titanic. He drew floor plans of the ship. He wrote stories about it. He was obsessed. He was 6!

To me he is Super Cooper…He is super smart, super stubborn, super strong. He is exceptional. He is extreme. But as much of an extreme challenge as he is, he is also an extreme joy. He is one of a kind. And I am proud to be his mom. I love him more than he will ever know.

I am sure many of the traits that drive me up the wall right now have been given to Cooper by God and when harnessed and focused in the right direction those same traits will be used by God in a mighty way.

Happy Birthday Cooper!

The Suite Life of Tilly and Cooper

2009-02-03T18:51:00.003-05:00

It has been over a week since we have been displaced by the fire. The first week we stayed at my Aunt Jeanie's house, she was on vacation in Belize for the week so it worked out nice for us to "house sit", wink, wink.

This Sunday we moved into the Amish Acres Inn in Nappanee. The insurance company approved for us to have a suite and adjoining room. The kids are pumped as they think living in a hotel is a "Suite" life. I am loving the continental breakfast in the morning and the whirlpool bathtub, but am not so much liking the noisy neighbor that keeps the TV at full volume until 3am(she is an extended guest too because her house had a fire as well...weird, huh?).

I am not thrilled with living out of boxes, but am not going to complain about that. Each box is a reminder of the stuff we still have. We are thankful that our entire house did not burn down, that nothing was lost that cannot be cleaned, re-carpeted, painted or replaced. Aunt Jeanie and Kristi are keeping us well fed. Tilly's dog and Cooper's lizard are staying with Jeanie. God is reteaching me lessons about what is important and essential in life.

My furniture and belongings are nearly completely packed out. My friend who had not heard about the fire called to ask if we were moving because she saw moving trucks in our drive way. I told her we were moving for 4-6 weeks and then we would be back. Our house has been full of visitors; packers, adjusters, investigators, etc. I will receive an estimate and report from the adjuster next week. New carpet, paint, insulation, and a furnace are on the list of things to be replaced. Most of the other items will be cleaned.

We do not have my computer but I am posting this from the lobby on the guest computer and will try to keep my blog updated.

My 80's Song

2009-01-30T15:04:00.002-05:00

So funny...cuz this is so me (in the 80's, not now)...Thanks Steve for the link!

Your 80s Song is "1999"

If you were transported back to the 80s, your life would be all about living large.

You love the excess that the 80s represented, even if the party wasn't meant to last. (Thank God)

You think of the 80s as a time of wild fashions, big money(I was making the big bucks back then), and fast cars (oh my Z-28 Camero).

And that's a world you wouldn't mind being a part of! (NOT.)

What's Your 80s Karaoke Song?

Smoke

2009-01-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

Today I met with several people that my insurance company sent to start taking care of the damage that occurred when my furnace caught on fire.

Tomorrow the First Response team is sending a company to pack up all our textiles; bedding, clothes, towels, shoes, rugs, curtains, stuffed animals, etc to have them cleaned. I had to choose what we will need quickly and what we will want stored until we are able to move back home. They will be cleaning the stench of oil and smoke out of everything they can, and inventorying what they cannot.

In the next couple days First Response will take everything out of the house, from furniture to dishes, from my washer and dryer to my Christmas orniments, it all gets removed, cleaned, accounted for and stored. They told us today that the clean up would most likely take 30-45 days. Now we are just trying to figure out living arrangements.

I feel a little overwelmed. But I am trying to focus on answered prayers and blessings that will come out this.

Kristi called me tonight because she and her girls were studying tonight in the book of

Exodus when they happened upon this scripture...

Exodus 19:18-20

18 Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the LORD descended on it in fire. The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace, the whole mountain [a] trembled violently, 19 and the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder. Then Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him.

I thought it was a perfect smile from God, reminding me that He is in control.

Four Wheeling Fun

2009-01-26T06:57:00.000-05:00

Cooper's Grandparents bought him an extra special birthday gift this year...Tilly loves it too.

Local Librarian on NPR

2009-01-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

Linda Yoder, director of my local library, was recently interviewed by Madeline Brand on National Public Radio. The topic was how the library is being used as a resource for the unemployed during these tough economic times.

You can listen HERE.

Fire!

2009-01-25T22:00:00.006-05:00

Our weekend was eventful to say the least...

Saturday afternoon we were at home enjoying our weekend when Jud felt the house rumble, he thought that a plane or something was flying over head, when he stepped outside to look for what had made the house shake he saw that there was black smoke pouring out of our chimney...this may sound normal but we did not have a fire burning...at least not in the fireplace. He came inside and told me about the smoke, asked me to turn off the furnace and headed down stairs to check out our old oil burning furnace. Moments later he came barreling up the the stairs and told me to call 911, the furnace was on fire and flames were shooting out of the ducts. As I got 911 on the phone I scurried around the house to get shoes and coats, we got Tilly and the dog out (Cooper was at his grandparents). Jud got Tilly to the neighbors. You can read her version of the day HERE.

About 5 trucks from our little town's volunteer fire department arrived about 10 minutes later. We stood out in the snow with others from the neighborhood and watched as the firemen worked.

The fire was contained to the furnace and basement, but oil and soot came blowing out all the vents in the house leaving black oily residue and a nasty smell.

We are so thankful that the furnace did not blow during the night and that we are all safe and sound. We are staying at my aunts house for now (she is on vacation in Belize this week). Hopefully I will know more about how long it will be before we can get a new furnace and get the placed cleaned up once I meet with insurance tomorrow.

Please pray that everything will be covered by insurance and the process will be swift.

A Couple Things...

2009-01-21T07:17:00.006-05:00

Before I rush off to work this morning, a couple of random thoughts...

I was moved by Obama Inauguration yesterday. I thought his speech was low key, earnest, and hopeful. I loved how much he invoked history. I am a lover of history and could not help be moved by the thought of how much has happened in America in the last 200 years.

The best new thing we have found so far this year is the Kiwi tool that Jud and Cooper picked up for free at the grocery yesterday. Cooper LOVES kiwi, it is one of only a handful of fruits and veggies that I can get him to eat, so we try to keep well supplied. The way my mom always served kiwi was cut in half and with a spoon to scoop out all the yummy kiwi from the furry skin. That is how Cooper likes them too and now he has the perfect tool. This awesome little kiwi utensil has a knife on one end to cut the fuzzy fruit in half and a small spoon on the other end, the perfect size for scooping out the delicious green flesh! LOVE IT!

Do You Want to Go to Church?

2009-01-17T12:15:00.004-05:00

Do you want to go to church? I mean, when you wake up on Sunday morning are you excited to get to church? I am not talking about the minute you wake up and you lie in bed wishing you could sleep in, I mean once you are up…do you look forward to getting to church? Or do you look for excuses why you don’t have to go this Sunday.
Do you just go to church because you know you should? Do you WANT to go to church?

I think this is a sign of spiritual health.

This summer I found myself not looking forward to church at all. In fact there were many Sundays this summer that I found a reason not to go. I thought it was because it was summer, the lake was calling my name, or we had stayed up too late…but it was more about the fact that I was not enjoying church. And more over, it was about my spiritual health.

Summer is one thing, there is no youth on Wednesday night and I was traveling a lot, but once it was fall, school had started and I was teaching youth on Wednesday night (which I love), but I still was not excited about Sundays. All summer long I was being blessed by my new ministry visiting the ladies at the Elkhart County jail. But meeting the Holy Spirit in the jail seemed to make the empty hole I felt at church even greater. I had lost interest in my Sunday school class. I tried to listen to the sermons but most Sundays found myself looking at my watch waiting for the pastor to stop talking. The trouble that my church was having with our denomination was disenchanting to me. There was a negative attitude growing inside my heart. This all led me to my church search that I have been posting about in the last month.

In the book Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, Jim Cymbala writes "We are always either drawing nearer to God or falling away. There is no holding pattern."

I was falling away. From church. From God. Not a back sliding free fall, just the kind of barely noticeable falling away, but the kind of falling where you wake up one day and say “how did my heart get here?’

Brrrr!

2009-01-13T17:57:00.004-05:00

With all this wintry weather I was about to complain...then I remembered an interview I heard on NPR last week. They interviewed a woman who lives in Tok, Alaska where the temperature recently dropped to -78 degrees.

She spoke about putting card board in the grill of her car to keep the fluids from freezing, scrapping ice off the inside of her windshield, and leaving the car running when she goes grocery shopping. She also told about how her thermometer at home does not even go as low as the temperature has dropped. She did post a picture of this thermometer at Tetlin National Wildlife Refuge offices in Tok, Alaska on her blog .

I guess I won't complain about our Indiana weather!

Step One: Get Started

2009-01-11T13:37:00.008-05:00

I bought this old house in 2006 from my grandparents estate. My grandparents raised their family here, and I think it is neat that now I am raising my family here. For the last 20 years that my grandparents owned this house they were old, they both were in their 90s when they passed away and had not updated any features of the house in a long while.

This house is old. The decorating is old, the wiring is old, the fixtures are old, the plumbing is old, the furnace is old...the roof and the windows are new (I just want to balance out my complaining.) I am so thankful to have this house (and it is only through a miracle that I do).

Aside from painting Tilly's room orange and a few new pieces of furniture for the kids, my house is pretty much a hodge podge of hand me downs and 30 year old decorating. I have wanted to re-do and renovate but I work on a limited budget and limited time and limited skill. But it is really time to do some sprucing up.

With some help from Jud and his parents and a tax refund I am going to make some changes.

Starting this weekend.

Step one...strip wall paper in the kitchen.

This is what the wall paper was like...

This is the some of the progress made this weekend. All the wall paper is gone.

One of These Kids is Doing Her Own Thing

2009-01-09T07:31:00.001-05:00

Steve’s posting series about memories of his old house has been fun so far for me, because I share those memories with him. During the years that Steve lived in "the gray house" we were best buddies. We were almost the same age, I lived right around the corner on Parkwood Drive, and our moms, who are sisters, worked together for our grandpa.

Steve’s most recent post about my memory cracks me up. Mostly because my memory was right and wrong. Steve wrote about the carnival and our visit to WSJV for the Jerry Lewis telethon. I was sure that we wore clown suits to WSJV. But leave it to Steve to have picture proof that I was the only CLOWN that day.

This is an example of how our memory protects us from things that we do not want to remember. In my memory of the day I had no recollection that I was the only one dressed like bozo. I hate to say this but I bet, if the picture was of my face, you would see my nose was painted red. This was surely my mother’s doing. She is very creative and spirited, and she is never embarrassed.

This moring I got an email, from Jen, who had read Steve’s blog, she signs off the email...

...Oh and what are you wearing today? Are you blending in or did you go with the clown look? :-)
Jennifer Odiorne

Thanks for sharing Steve!

Game Time

2009-01-07T00:19:00.000-05:00

We are game addicts! We have a whole armoire full of games of all sorts. We spent many hours this Christmas break playing games together. We like video games as much as the next guy...but we spend nearly as much of our gaming time sitting on the floor around a board game. For Christmas the kids each received several games. Our favorites so far are:

Mastermind It is a code breaking game of logic and deductive reasoning. You can play this for any amount of time, the rounds go quickly so your time commitment depends on how many rounds you want to play. I had this game when I was a kid, the game board has changed since then. The only down side to this new improved board is that the compartment that holds the pegs cannot close with all the pegs in it...which seems to defeat the purpose of the compartment.

Scrabble The kids and I have enjoyed playing Scrabble Junior but Tilly received an awesome Diamond Anniversary Scrabble board this Christmas. The board is awesome because it folds into a convenient carry case with a handle which has drawers for the letters tiles and accessories. Tilly and Cooper quickly caught on to this game both scoring big points with words that surprised me.

Chess Jud taught Cooper how to play Chess over break. Cooper loves it.

The Game of Life Twists and Turns This was on Tilly's Christmas list. She had played the original version with my Aunt. This is modernized version of the classic. It has a electronic Lifepod which keeps track of each players money and life points on their own credit card. At first this seemed a little confusing and weird to enter information into the Lifepod on every turn. The second time we played we had it down. The kids love this game, especially Tilly.
On Saturday we played a forty minute game, when it ended Cooper and Tilly played on their own for another 2 hours! Then on Sunday night Tilly and I played again for an hour and half. Tilly could have played longer. This game can be programed for as many turns as you would like so you can alter the length of the game, however the shortest game is really at least 40 minutes. It is more fun to play longer games because you can gain more money and life points. I think Tilly enjoys the pretending that comes with this game...she takes great care to pick her career, get her degree, get married, have babies, etc. There really is no skill and very little strategy involved with this game.
Nintendo DS Brain Age Tilly got a DS for Christmas from her Grandma, it came with the game Brain Age. I absolutely love it...oh ya, so does she. Our whole family has been taking Brain Age training. They are short little brain games (that strengthen your prefrontal cortex) . It measures your Brain Age and graphs your scores. It has fun activities; for instance occasionaly when you log on it will ask you to draw a picture from memory of some random item. It will compare your pictures to the pictures that the other players have drawn. Also it has Sodoku, which I had never played before Tilly got this game but I am hooked now.

Rock Band Cooper received Rock Band for our Wii. He loves it...we all have enjoyed playing it. If you look in our window at the right moment you might see our whole family rockin out singing, on drums, and guitar. The one thing I did not think about when I purchased the game was that the drums, even though they are not real, are LOUD. We only have 2 TVs and the Wii is in our living room. The banging can get to me after a while.

We love a good family game!

6 Year Old Misses the Bus, Drives the Car

2009-01-06T07:17:00.002-05:00

WICOMICO CHURCH, Va. – A 6-year-old Virginia boy who missed his bus tried to drive to school in his family's sedan — and crashed.
State police say the boy suffered only minor injuries and authorities drove him to school after he was evaluated at a local hospital. Sgt. Tom Cunningham says the boy arrived shortly after lunch.
It happened around 7:40 a.m. Monday on Route 360, about 61 miles east of Richmond.
Police say the boy, who wasn't identified, missed the bus, took the keys to his family's 2005 Ford Taurus and drove 10 miles toward school while his mother was asleep.
He ran off the road several times before hitting an embankment and utility pole about a mile and a half from school.
Police say he wasn't wearing a safety belt.

I just cannot believe the kid made it so far before he crashed. That must of been some slick driving. Can most six year olds press the gas and see over the dash?
My kids (at age six especially) would not be that determined to get to school.
My kids (at age six especially) are not that autonomous. Was his mom asleep when he ate breakfast, got himself dressed, brushed his teeth and made sure he had his back pack too?
I wonder what would of happened to him if he would have woke his mom up to tell her he had missed the bus....I hope nothing bad.
This would have been a better story if he would have actually made it to school without crashing...can you imagine the look on the faces of the other parents and teachers when the kid rolls in to the parking lot and jumps out and heads to class.

Church Search Continued...

2009-01-02T14:43:00.008-05:00

One thing that made the main list of things I do not like about my church, but did not make the top 3 list, (see Rob’s comment about narrowing down the pros/cons when finding a church home) is the music.

(Come on, how superficial can you get, Rocki!)

Our church is, shall we say, conservative when it comes to music. There is no electric worship band…just an organ, or sometimes a piano. We sing mostly old hymns. They try to sprinkle in a few newer "praise" songs from time to time, but it still falls short of contemporary worship music. But I have discovered that I am one of only a few in the congregation who are not enjoying the traditional quality of our "worship".

I want to make sure that you are hearing me clearly; there is nothing wrong with the music at my church…the problem is with me.

I have been to churches where the music was incredible. Where they have awesome musicians, the congregation is really singing out, hands in the air, eyes closed or sometimes clapping and full of joy and worshipping God. I loved it.

I have sung spontaneous a cappella choruses of praise with the ladies in Pekin Federal Prison, truly worshipping God. I loved it.

I have been to Acquire the Fire and Battle Cry conferences where the music sweeps over the crowd worshipping God, creating an emotional wave. I loved it.

Some have a problem with that emotional wave, saying that it causes people to rely on the music to create an emotional experience and to feel close to God. And I guess it’s true that any music can create emotions, not just songs with Christian lyrics. But I believe God gave us music precisely because it affects our hearts and emotion.

Greg Gilbert had an interesting post some time ago when he wrote "I wonder if the whole "excellence in praise and worship music" phenomenon we’ve seen over the past few years—for all the good it’s done—hasn’t also had some less-than-desirable effects on young Christians. I wonder if it hasn’t created a generation of functional mystics who gauge their relationship with God by emotional experience rather than the objective reality of redemption. "

No risk of that at my church. At times I find myself singing the hymns at church more grudgingly than worshipful…sometimes I even stop singing and just blindly stare off in the distance. I am allowing my musical preference to interfere with my worshipping of the amazing Almighty God!

Because the music at my church is not likely to change…for me to stay at my church will mean a serious refresher course on what is essential in worship.

And hopefully, like Greg Gilbert wrote about his church’s music "That forced me to learn how to stoke the fires of worship with truths and words, and not just with excellent music. I’ve learned how to be emotionally affected by the excellent words of hymns whether they’re played and sung "excellently" or not."

Tell me your views on the importance of music in the church….

Attractive Church?

2009-01-02T11:28:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T09:40:00.001-05:00

We had a blast celebrating with the Galls, the Hahns and Egoffs! We played 9 rounds of New Year Family Olympics! Steve came up with games for each family team to compete in. This year the games consisted of; Puzzle Race, House of Cards, Name the Artist, Karaoke (oh yes Steve, I am holding on to the video for future use), RC Car Driving, Bean Bag Toss, Pin the Ball on the Pole, Dance Dance Revolution, and Best Sportsmanship Award. We rang in the new year with sparkling grape juice and the trying to catch a glimpse of the fireworks from down the road. Tons of laughing, tons of fun! What a great way to say "Good Bye 2008! Hello 2009!"

Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire

2008-12-31T16:34:00.003-05:00

12 weeks ago two of my friends from church and I started on a spiritual journey together. We each had personal reasons that were all our own and a larger community reason; we wanted to pray for the revival of our church. We decided to read Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala. This is an older book and we all had read it years before but thought it would inspire us to pray for our own church as we read the story of the Brooklyn Tabernacle. We met as a very small 3 person Sunday School class using half our time to discuss the book and half the time to pray together. We got together outside of class to pray as well and kept in touch daily through email.

As you can read in my previous posts, I have been unhappy with my church, so I decided that I would take this time (12 weeks according to the 12 chapters of the book) to seek God’s will for which church He was calling me to. I hoped to have a decision by the end of the 12 weeks. At the time we started the book I did not realize that 12 weeks added up to the end of the calendar year.

Over the last 12 weeks I have grown to love my study partners, although they were already friends, this time of fellowship has been amazing for me. Our time in prayer together is very special to me as well, not to mention effective. I have seen the Holy Spirit move as we have called upon Him. Continually through out our book study the pastor’s message has been in line with what we were discussing…I love it when God confirms what you are learning.

God really came through loud and clear last Sunday, the pastor said almost the exact same words as our discussion. His message was about familiarity as a faith crusher. How Jesus could not do miracles in his hometown (Mark 6:4-5), because the people in Jesus’ hometown could not believe that the little Jesus that they knew, Joesph’s son, a carpenter could be the Son of God. The pastor said we can be too familiar with a situation to have faith for God to change it. Are we expecting it to change? Are we expecting God to move? Or are we too familiar with the reasons why it won’t be different? Same questions we just discussed in class.

I was on the edge of my seat…”God, You are talking to me. I hear you.” I wanted to turn around in the pew to look up in the balcony where my study partners were sitting, were they as floored as I was? After the service I found my study partners with their jaws on the ground. We could hardly talk. Clear confirmation.

To be continued…

Big Church

2008-12-30T07:06:00.000-05:00

I have no problems with big churches. I don’t even have anything against mega churches. But I do not think the spiritual health of the church should be measured by the number of people in the pews. A church can be spirit filled even if the pews are not.

Have I mentioned that my church is small?

There are many Pros and Cons about attending a church with a small congregation, here are just a few…

PRO
You are forced to step out of your comfort zone, because everyone must participate for the church to work. I am quite sure that if I attended a big church that I would never have been asked to volunteer in the ways that I have. Without being asked to step up, for example teaching in the youth ministry, I would have missed gifts that God has given me. I love, that for me, church is more about serving than just being served.
CON
You are asked to participate in almost ALL ministries because the pool of volunteers is small, so it is the same people for everything.

PRO
If you skip a Sunday service, people notice.
CON
If you skip a Sunday service, people notice.

PRO
My kids feel at home in our youth group, we are like a family.
CON
Our youth group is fantastic, but we will never have the resources to do the really neat things that other youth groups do. (I know I should not be comparing, but just allow me my honest view)

PRO
Because we have limited resources we rely on God to provide completely.
CON
Our limited resources can make it hard to accomplish what we would like to. In any budget heating bills come before missions, right? What if there is not much left over?

It is true my church is not big in numbers…but is that really important? Sometimes it seems like it to me, but is that just small thinking taking over my small mind?

I read this great post about How you define a small church. Maybe my church is bigger than it seems.

Church Search

2008-12-29T17:05:00.001-05:00

For the last 12 weeks I have been doing some serious searching. I have not been very public about my journey because it was a topic I did not want to discuss with many people for fear of hurting anyone’s feelings.

I was thinking of finding a new church.

First let me state that my church is a huge part of my life and the life of my children; I do not take this decision lightly. I LOVE my pastor, who is extrodinarily gifted with reaching prodigals; he is intelligent, wise and giving. He has made a HUGE impact on my life. There are many in our congregation who I have grown close to. The action of leaving my church is a serious one for me.
I became a member of my church in the summer of 2005. It is the one and only church of which I have ever been a member. Since becoming a member I have been very active in the youth ministry and other areas of our church life.

We are a small, struggling church. Currently we are in the middle of a heated battle with our denomination. At the time when I joined the First Presbyterian Church I had no knowledge of any of the debates and battles going on within the denomination. I have to admit that joining this church was not at all about becoming Presbyterian, in fact I really did not know what the difference was. I just wanted to worship where I knew the people loved Jesus. By the help and love that this congregation had shared with me, I thought that this is where I belonged.

But I have since been made aware of disturbing problems within the Presbyterian denomination. Our congregation has voted to disaffiliate from the PC USA over the denomination’s liberal direction on Scripture and theology. Our congregation wishes to transfer our membership to the more conservative Evangelical Presbyterian Church. I wish the actual transition were as easy as it was to write. PC USA owns our property so even though this congregation stretched themselves to the max to build a new addition and pay it off in less than a decade it belongs to PC USA. Taking a stand against the PC USA means we could ultimately lose our building.

For me this battle has been draining. I have tried to stay out of it, to be honest. At first because I wasn’t sure I understood it. Then, because it seemed to have nothing to do with my walk with Christ. But even now that I do understand it and agree that we must leave the denomination, I feel it is just plain distracting from what I thought the ultimate purpose of the church was. The issues have made it impossible to receive new members, drained our resources and sucked away our attention.

But this show down with PC USA is not the only reason I have considered leaving my church….

TO BE CONTINUED

Sledding

2008-12-26T21:46:00.003-05:00

Steve has been posting about his family's adventures on the Nappanee sledding hill. (Here, Here and Here) Steve informed me during Christmas dinner that the weather has created "once in a decade" conditions for the sledding hill and he let me know that I would be crazy not to take my kids to try it, he even told me that we could borrow his new saucer sleds.
The weather was really ideal when we went, 32 degrees, not to cold but cold enough that it wasn't a water slide. The parking lot looked like an ice skating rink, just walking proved to be a daunting task on the slick ice, as I was walking up the hill I was wishing I had crampons for my shoes and an ice pick.
The runs were fast and looong. Even the kids went way down the hill, over the slow down hill and then down again out to the parking lot of the golf course club house. See Steve's map to see what I mean. This hill is built for sledding so there really are no obstacles to dodge, except for one smallish tree out past the slow down hill. On a normal day this tree would not be an issue, because a sled would never make it all the way to it. But today on Jud's second run he ran right into it and scraped his leg and hurt his hands. Even with the injury we all had a blast. Thanks Steve for lending us your saucers...oh by the way, we broke one into pieces and cracked another. We will get you new ones.

Christmas

2008-12-26T15:44:00.001-05:00

Cooper is a star!

2008-12-19T07:41:00.003-05:00

Last night I sat in the third row of Northwood High School Auditorium and beamed from ear to ear. I watched as Cooper had the crowd laughing in his leading role in Nappanee Elementary School's Christmas performance. He played Tan N. Baum, Christmas tree farmer. He worked really hard for the past several months, rehearsing during recess and learning all his lines. He did a great job, I am so proud of him.

Mary Christmas

2008-12-18T08:10:00.002-05:00

Last night Tilly did a wonderful job as Mary in our Christmas Pagent at church.

Duals All Star Wrestling

2008-12-15T05:31:00.001-05:00

For the last two weeks Cooper has been practicing 3 days a week with his Duals All Star Wrestling team. Northwood Elementary Wrestling Club hosted a meet with 4 other schools attending. Kids from Wawasee, Rochester, Fairfield and Tippy Valley competed against each other as teams.

The meet started for us on Friday, as hosts we had to go help set up the gym and concessions area. Saturday morning we were there by 8:15 am and the meet began at 9am. We watched as Northwood picked off the teams match by match. The meet did not end until 6:00pm! This was the longest day of sitting on bleachers I have ever had!

The video is of Cooper wrestling (and winning 6-0) his first of 3 matches (he won them all) in the 8 and under division. If you listen closely and you can hear his teammates chanting his name, COO-PER-COO-PER!

Cooper will probably not continue wrestling. He is pretty good and very strong, but lacks the desire to dedicate himself to it. I am certainly not going to argue. The thought of traveling to all-day meets where you sit for hours to see your kid compete for a few minutes is not appealing to me. I can say I am proud that Cooper stuck it out and worked hard the last two weeks for the Duals team.

Flush with God's Provisions

2008-12-14T13:25:00.001-05:00

This week has been a chaotic week in the Stillson household. And unfortunately is leading up to another equally busy week. One of stresses this week included one of the most basic of necessities, our bathroom.
This week my toilet started making funny bubbling noises then stopped filling up with the normal amount of water and within 24 hours started over flowing when flushed. My bath tub and sink in that bathroom also started backing up and not draining correctly. Jud and a friend spent 4 hours trying to fix it by plunging, snaking and other non-skilled plumbing remedies. We finally called a plumber once all our efforts were to no avail. The plumber found the problem. A root had invaded my pipes outside and the root ball had grown so large that the pipe was completely blocked. My toilet sat in my bathtub for 2 days while the plumber worked on it.
On Thursday morning my prayers included “Lord, thank you that I have a second bathroom.” Which I never thought I would pray. On Friday after work, I mentioned my toilet again in my prayers as the sound of a flush was sweet music to my ears. Although my sparse wallet took a major hit, this ordeal ended on Friday with God providing when I received a Christmas bonus at work that helped with the cost.

BRRR! The Coldest Parade Ever!

2008-12-06T10:44:00.007-05:00

Last night Tilly and Cooper pulled out "Best in Show" dog Grizzom in a wagon along the chilly route of the Nappanee Christmas Parade. Grizzom and Tilly wore their Hawaiian costumes from the dog show this summer. I walked along side them freezing my tushy off. It was so cold even the dog was shivering! Although the night was frigid the kids still had fun walking in the parade, seeing the live nativity, eating cookies and hot chocolate. We warmed up once we got home and decorated the Christmas tree.

Heart Break

2008-12-04T22:00:00.006-05:00

My heart is breaking tonight. I found out today that one of the ladies that I have visited with at the Elkhart County Jail (I have wrote about her here and here and here ) got out of prison Tuesday. This is the 5th time she has been released from jail or prison over the last 6 or 7 years. Each time she has sat in jail and promised herself and others that she would turn her life around, that she would stay away from crack, that she would find a job and stop hustling on the street. That she would be a mother to her daughter. But each time the pull of the drugs is too much and she ended up back on the street and then back in jail.

This time was going to be different.

She is a bright woman, with a loving family and she has a big personality that people are drawn too. Many of the ministers who visit the jail have a "special" relationship with her, she is the daughter of a friend of mine, so she was special to me too. While she was in jail for the past 6 months she read her Bible, counseled with pastors, prayed and vowed to change her life.

The judge gave her a miraculous second-chance (in her case 7th chance) and suspended her sentence if she would live at the Rose Home (a halfway house for recovering women). Her mom even dared to hope, even though she has been let down and hurt too many times to count, that she might be home for Christmas.

On Tuesday when she was released from Rockville Womens Prison she took the bus to Elkhart. At the bus station waiting for her was one of the lay-pastors she had befriended in jail, but also waiting for her were some friends from the street, who she had obviously called to come pick her up. She lied to the pastor and left with the friends. Now none of the people who have been cautiously growing in hope for her recovery over the last 6 months know where she is. She has not called her parents, she has chucked all her plans for her release out the window.

She has to report to the Rose Home by tomorrow or she will violate her probation and lose her spot at the half way house.

Will she throw all the help, support and love to the wind? Does she have so much self-loathing and shame that she can not face her family? Does it just seem easier to fail now rather than take the chance to try?

10 Years Ago

2008-12-01T00:13:00.001-05:00

Ten years ago today I became a mother.
The night that Matilda was born there was the most beautiful full moon and so she became Matilda Moon. Right from the start she has been a special child. She is one of the sweetest children I have ever met. She is thoughtful of others feelings and easy going. She is a deep thinker. She has always been bright, even as a baby. She could sing and do the moves to her Barney songs when she was only one, she was memorizing the books I read to her long before she could read. She is a good student who loves books and history. She loves Jesus, she always surprises me by the depth of her understanding of the Gospel. She tends to be a little shy, she is respectful and quiet...but I have seen her crazy and irreverent side. She rarely gets into trouble...she is easy to parent. She is easy to love. I thank God everyday for choosing me to be her mother. I pray and dream about her future and all the things God has planned for her.
Happy birthday Tilly, I will always love you no matter what. I love watching as you grow and become all that God created you to be.

Party!

2008-11-30T20:05:00.002-05:00

We celebrated Tilly's tenth birthday with 5 of her friends at the Ramada hotel in Warsaw. They enjoyed the pool, the arcade and stayed up LATE. They all brought their Webkinz and had a Webkinz wedding on the floor in our suite. They giggled, played and had a blast.

Home for the Holidays

2008-11-27T07:37:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning thankful…thankful that I am home for the holidays.
I laid in bed for a while in my dark room, cozied up in my warm bed with my daughter and I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving and I prayed for those who cannot be home for the holiday.

I prayed for the soldiers who are serving their country halfway around the world, for the old and young alike that that are too sick to come home out of their hospital beds, for the men and women who are in prison. All of those who will wake up this morning and want nothing more than to be home with their families.

There is no amount of turkey served by the mess hall or cafeteria that can make Thanksgiving Day a holiday when you can not be home. It is the family and friends that surround you at the table that makes this day special. As I listened to my daughter sleep, I thanked God for second chances. I thanked God for my acute awareness of all that He has given me. I thanked God for giving me this awareness by allowing all I hold dear to be taken away for a season. I am so thankful to be home for the holidays.

Cooper

2008-11-25T21:17:00.003-05:00

Tonight was the Northwood Elementary Wrestling Tournament at NES. Cooper placed first in his group, winning all his matches with 3 pins and 1 scoring win.

iPod Shuffle

2008-11-19T21:13:00.006-05:00

Back in the beginning of November Rob tagged me to list my top songs in the iPod shuffle...but since I do not have an iPod I could not play along. However my almost 10 year old daughter does have an iPod and she decided that she wanted to play ...

You can see Matilda's iPod Shuffle HERE.

If you are wondering what I am listening too...it is what she is listening to because she pretty much spins the tunes in my house. Rob, I do not think it is weird AT ALL for you to have have Hannah Montana on your iPod.

On a side note...Cooper, my 8 year old son, HAD an iPod too. (he lost it...and is the poster child for why you should not give expensive electronics to children...but that is a whole different post) When Cooper was given a chance to pick 2 songs off of iTunes last year he choose We Will Rock You by Queen and The Star Spangled Banner by Lee Greenwood. That still cracks me up. He is one of a kind.

Trivia Pursuit for Kids

2008-11-16T19:24:00.004-05:00

One thing I really enjoy is playing board games with my kids. Tonight we played Trivia Pursuit for Kids, which is the same as the original Trivia Pursuit except the answers are easier and you have the benefit of multiple choice answers. We play that the kids get the multiple choices and the adults have to just guess which evens the playing field a bit.

Tilly is a master at deductive reasoning which makes her super at this game. Cooper knows a surprising amount of useless facts which also makes him a player to be reckoned with. I am usually a pro at this game myself, but I was having a off night making mistakes such as, Q: Where is the worlds largest UFO Museum located? My Answer: Roswell, Nevada (this was wrong of course as Roswell is New Mexico and I was hastily mixing up my Southwestern Geography)

Tonight Jud was the one who dominated the game. Just as in the original TP the player's turn continues as long as they answers the questions correctly. One of Jud's turn lasted around 15 minutes which made the kids go a little bonkers waiting for their next turn. But I must admit hearing Cooper read the questions in a voice reminiscent of PeeWee Herman was quite entertaining.

We always end up doing a lot of laughing during this game. One of questions that Cooper had was "What does the UV stand for in UV Rays?" His answer after hearing the choices was " Ultra Violent".

Cooper had us rolling again when he demonstrated his answer to the question "What gymnastic trick does a skunk imitate before he sprays?" Cooper did not even hear the multiple choice questions before he was kicking his feet into the air and yelling "Handstand".

This game is great for any elementary school age kids. Because the questions are so varied in degree of difficulty and because often the multiple choice answers can be withheld, this really makes the game entertaining for all ages.

Here are some sample questions from tonight...

What cookie company claims their cookies are baked by elves?
Which of these animals is the same size as an aardvark? A chihuahua--a fox--a pig
What event ended on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month?

My Week

2008-11-15T08:44:00.004-05:00

I had quite a busy week. Which involved:

Flying to Baltimore on Tuesday
Meeting my cousin Kent, who lives in D.C. for Dinner Tuesday night in Annapolis
Driving over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Wednesday morning (BE-A-U-tiful!)
Giving a sales presentation which included power point, demo e-store, and samples at a guitar mfg in Stevensville, MD
Eating lunch with a couple of the guitar guys
Driving back over the bridge and straight to Baltimore Washington Airport where I stowed my luggage beneath the seat in front of me and flew back to South Bend on Wednesday night.
Working hard to get a proposal ready to email on Friday (which I did at 4:30pm)

I am glad it is the weekend!

TODAY

2008-11-11T08:58:00.002-05:00

Time is limited

So I better wake up every morning fresh

and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right

And string my days together into a

LIFE OF ACTION

And purpose.

Lance Armstrong

How I'll Teach my Kids About Drugs and Peer Pressure

2008-11-02T21:46:00.003-05:00

Over a week ago Rob requested that I write a post titled -"How I'll Teach My Kids About Drugs And Peer Pressure".
I have sat down to write this post a number of times and felt myself struck with fear for my children’s future. How WILL I teach my kids about drugs and peer pressure?? It is not that I have not thought about it before, I think of it often, my fear comes from my first hand knowledge of the powerful pull that peers have when you're young, and how experimentation is a slippery slope. If addictive behavior is inherited…my kids already have a double whammy going against them. I often plead with God to not let them go through the things I have, asking for wisdom to guide them.

Now, my kids hate drugs and alcohol. They have experienced the consequences of drug use first hand in ways that no child deserves to. I pray that they remain steadfast in their hatred of drugs. HOWEVER….I know it is not as easy as that. I remember as a child being vehemently anti tobacco. I hated that my mom smoked. I remember trying to get her to quit. Only a few short years later I was smoking myself.

I have often thought about what it was that would have stopped me from diving into the world of drugs and reckless behavior. I still don’t have an answer. My only hope is Jesus.

So most importantly I want to help my kids develop a good set of convictions so when it comes time for them to make their own decisions about who their friends are and what values they will live out, that the choices they will make will be driven by those deep rooted convictions.

Before Daniel began serving King Nebuchadnezzar, he “made up his mind that he would not defile himself with the king’s choice of food or with the wine which he drank, he sought permission from the commander of the officials that he might not defile himself” (Daniel 1:8) Daniel decided in advance what temptations he wanted to avoid in order to live a holy life before God. That is what I want for my children. I want them to decide now, before they actually have to face the situation, that they will not do drugs or do what they know is wrong just because their friends are doing it. I have asked them to promise not just me, but themselves that they will not change their mind about this.

The truth is that it takes real moral strength not to be influenced by others. I want to help my kids develop that inner strength of character needed to buffer the negative pressures, as well as teach them specific assertive skills to help them stand up to their peers.

I want them to know deep down that approval of God is infinitely more rewarding than the approval of the crowd. 1Peter 3:14-17 tells us, "...even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts ... For it is better, if God should will it so, that you should suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong."

I will always be honest, transparent and open with my children about my experience with drugs, the risks, the penalties and the lifetime consequences. I pray that they can learn from what I have been through so that they never have to go through it themselves.

Not So Scary...

2008-11-01T09:56:00.004-04:00

Last night, after returning from our church’s Fall Party, my kids decided to have a “Candy-Palooza”. They added the bag of loot they received at the church in with their already monstrous bags of candy that they have collected trick or treating and trunk or treating this week. They asked if they could stay up late and eat candy…throwing rules and good dental hygiene to the wind for the night, I consented.

“Candy-Palooza” commenced with dumping all the candy out on the floor in front of the TV, they munched their sugar and chocolate as they watched scary movies (R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps). I went to bed around 11pm. At about midnight, I woke up and overheard the conversation they were having. Obviously they had just watched a “scary” R.L. Stine movie that had dead people walking around. This is what I heard, almost verbatim, of their conversation…

C: But dead people can not really walk around.
T: No. But one person walked around after He was dead.
C: Who?
T: Jesus.
C: Oh, oh! I know a place where millions, no, billions of people walk around after they are dead!
T: Where?
C: Heaven.
T: But they are no longer dead, they are alive with Jesus.
C: Yeah.

I couldn't help but smile that they were thinking of Jesus after their scary movie. I came out and asked them to put away their candy. They were cozied up together on the couch under a big down comforter. I did not make them go to bed, but I gave them a kiss and said good night.

I wish the story ended here, but at 3:00AM I came out and they were STILL on the couch watching TV.
I said “You guys are still awake?!?”
Tilly told me “I just woke up, I have been asleep, Cooper just woke me up.” I believed her, but Cooper looked like that little squirrel from Over the Hedge that drinks to much pop and spazzes out. I herded them into bed, shut off the lights and the TV.

I am glad they have each other. I hope they can stay friends through high school, and on through life.

Trick or Treat

2008-10-31T20:41:00.002-04:00

Jailhouse Religion

2008-10-18T10:57:00.003-04:00

While I was sitting at a table with the inmates of K ward (maximum security) in Elkhart County Jail last Saturday, one young faced woman kept interrupting as she lurked around the table. I asked her what her name was and invited her to sit down. The other ladies rolled their eyes at me as if I had just engaged in conversation with a trouble maker.

“Jay” she said, as she slipped off her do-rag fashioned out of a torn up t-shirt revealing a bald head. She smacked her lips or did sort of a gangster cluck at me. She took me up on my invitation to sit down with us at the table but I could tell by the looks on the other inmates faces that she was doing so just to interrupt us and not because she was interested.

I tried to go on with the conversation we had begun at the table, but Jay would not stop vying for my attention. She kept going on and on about how she was from Memphis and her family were rich share croppers and how she was making her way across the country and wound up in Elkhart County Jail. I felt what she was spewing was all lies. I asked her if she knew Jesus as her savior…honestly I think I was trying to scare her away more than I was trying to convert her. She was proving to be a distraction for the ladies who truly wanted to be ministered to.

Jay informed me that these ladies just caught a bad case of jailhouse religion. The cynical slang “jailhouse religion” is referring to the sudden desperate piety of an inmate who is up against a wall and hopes that somehow God will bail them out of their trouble. Religion becomes nothing more than a selfish crutch specific to their difficult situation. Once the situation is over they simply shed their religion. Jay has obviously witnessed first hand those who claim they know Jesus while they are in jail and then once released return to the normalcy of their immoral, criminal or chaotic lifestyle.

I talked a bit with Jay about “jailhouse religion”, I asked her if she was satisfied sitting here in jail, if this was what she thought her purpose in life was? I confronted her with the question again…are you planning on going to Heaven or hell? Suddenly Jay had to make a phone call. The other inmates hooted at her, “go on, run away”.

At the end of my time there I prayed with the ladies individually. Huddling in a corner of the loud room we would join hands and pray specifically about their needs and Praise the Lord.

I have seen it both ways…inmates who are wholeheartedly working out their faith, searching for meaning in their life, spending their “down” time growing in Christ and transforming their lives. But of course I have seen it the other way as well, where their professed faith is based on little but an overwhelming need to get out of trouble, with no thought of what God might ask of them.

Before I left Jay asked me if I wanted to read her poems, I said sure. They were about life on the street, a cousin’s death, and a gangster ode. I asked her if she wanted me to pray for her. She reluctantly said I could. We bowed our heads together.

I know not to judge the ladies I speak with at the jail. I can not see or judge the potential or heart.
I do know that our father calls the burdened to Him and that he will never turn them away.

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. John 6:37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

Wednesday Night Youth

2008-10-16T22:50:00.005-04:00

This year at Nappanee FPC we have changed our format for our Wednesday night youth meetings. The elementary kids follow a rotation model. Similar to what VBS is like for the most part the kids move from craft station, to games station and story. They come back together to praise God with music at the end of the night.

I must admit I was a little resistant to change in the beginning. For the last year and a half I have had the 3rd through 5th grade class. The second half of the year our class was busting at the seams, growing so large that we toyed with splitting them into 2 groups. We had to move into a bigger class room. I loved the kids. The time I spent with them drew me close as I got to know their personalities, their prayer requests and they grew in Christ as we dug as deep as we wanted into God's word.

This year Jen and I co-lead the story station. We have 3 rotations of kids and we have 15 minutes to tell the story for the night. The first few nights I realized how different this was for me.
First, if you have ever heard me talk…you know 15 minutes isn’t long enough for me. Second, the kids are there, and then they are gone. Instead of doing multiple activities together I only spend one bit of the night with them.

On the other hand, it is a lot easier for me to prepare for class this year. I only have to know my little bit of scripture, know it in my heart so I can let God teach it. No craft to prepare, no object lesson, no script to act out the story…just me, relying on God’s Word and the Holy Spirit to find a way for the kids to “get it”.

This last Wednesday, God must have really wanted the kids and me to “get” the story. As I began to read out of 1 Kings 17 (Elijah and the widow) the kids went nuts…raising their hands, talking out of turn…they had that very day heard the very same story in “Bible” class at school. I would say a good 99% (aside from a couple home schoolers) of the kids knew the story so well they could tell it to me. Miss Jen and I told them that God must really want them to hear this story! They listened again, as we dug deeper than just the story.

Funny thing is God must of thought I needed to hear the message more than once as well…my neighbor gave me some CDs from the Nappanee Missionary Church with a series of sermons from Pastor Dave. I often listen to them as I drive from appointment to appointment during my days on the road. That day the cd that I popped in the player was a lesson about God providing in impossible situations…Pastor Dave was preaching out of 1 Kings 17.

New Blogger on the Block

2008-10-10T17:14:00.004-04:00

My friend Jen Odiorne just discovered the world of blogging. She will surely have some interesting posts.

The Rose of Sharon

2008-10-09T19:19:00.003-04:00

“October 8th dawned clear and bright but it was a very sad day,
It started out so normally and then a big change came our way.”

This is the first line of a poem that Anna Mae Burkholder wrote way back in 1982. The poem was inspired by the death of her eldest daughter, Sharon.

Sharon was my Amish babysitter. But she was not just a babysitter, she was a second mother to me. She started working for my family 2 weeks before I was born when she was seventeen years old. My mom worked every day, but Wednesday and Sunday, so Sharon was my caretaker, our house cleaner and meal maker. She would come in the morning before I woke up and leave after my parents were off work around 5:30pm, sometimes she would ride her bike in from her country home or if the weather was bad my parents would pick her up.

I grew up spending more time with her than with almost anyone else. I would sometimes go to her parents home, they became an extension of my family. She never married or had children, my sister and I were her children. She was a simple, stout, Christian woman. She was loving and attentive.

I loved her. I have memories of not wanting her to leave when my parents came home at night. I remember she kept Dentyne gum in her purse and would offer me some in exchange for letting her leave for the night.

That October 8th when I was 10 years old it was chilly in the morning just like it is now. My dad left to go pick her up, but she had already left her house on her bike. On the way to pick her up my dad saw an accident ahead. Just minutes before he arrived on the scene a bread truck, the driver blinded by the morning sun, had struck her. She died of a broken neck. My dad saw her bike on the road, he recognized it because we had given it to her as a present. He pulled over and was there as the paramedics tried fruitlessly to revive her.
He came back home without her, I remember hearing whispering and shocked cries in my mothers voice. They told me that Sharon had been in an accident and that she had been taken to the hospital. They sent me to school anyway…I knew when my dad was there to pick me up instead of letting me take the bus home that something was terribly wrong. I opened the door to my house and looked at my mom, the way she looked at me I knew that Sharon was dead. I dropped to the floor wailing not even getting in the door.

I can not tell you how fresh this memory is for me 26 years later.

The days that followed were odd and a bit of a blur. The Amish have different customs for mourning the dead. She was laid out in her own room at her parents house. Her coffin was wooden and to my 10 year senses looked like a Dracula coffin. Her funeral was in a large barn. It was a huge turn out, with hundreds of Amish coming from miles around. My family and I sat in front with the Burkholder family. We joined the caravan of buggies, driving our van slowly along a little dirt road sandwiched between buggies, to the cemetery where I watched her be put into the ground.

It was only a couple years later when I moved to Arizona so the sights and scenes of that day were burried in my mind. Often when I pass the little dirt road that runs parallel to US 6 I crane my neck searching for those cloudy 10 year old memories, trying to piece together which barn or which road we were on.

To this day there is nothing that can bring me to tears quicker than talking about Sharon. Even now, that I know and rejoice that she is in heaven with her King, my heart still burns with an empty spot for her.

Another poem that Sharon’s mother wrote is the story of the Heavenly Father walking through his garden in search of a perfect rose. He picks the rose from the garden. And although our garden seems bare in the place that the rose used to be we can be sure that the rose is blooming in Heaven.

Grandpa's Helper

2008-09-29T05:45:00.000-04:00

My kids spent this past weekend at their Grandparents. Both Grandma and Grandpa reported what a nice time they had with the kids. On Saturday afternoon Grandpa took Cooper along to help with a project grandpa was working on for their church. They spent several hours building two platforms. Grandpa told me several times that it was a special time for him. He thought it was really neat when Cooper told him how much he likes to build. Building is a special talent of Grandpa’s and I am sure it was sweet for him to have Cooper share in his love for it.

Grandpa also told me how much more patient he is with Cooper than he was when his own son was little and “helping” him with projects. It takes a patient man to handle an eight year old with power tools. When they were finished Cooper took a look at the platforms and expressed how good it felt to accomplish something.

Don’t you think that must be sort of how God feels about us? He certainly doesn’t need our help with His work. In fact He could probably get things done a lot faster without us and with less mess I am sure. But He loves us, He wants us to find the joy in the work. He wants us to learn by doing, He wants us to see the accomplishment and purpose in the work. He does not need us, yet He calls on and asks us to "help". He delights in and empowers our work.

Thank you God for having patience with me as I learn to “help” you with your projects.

A Fresh Coat of Paint

2008-09-28T20:27:00.002-04:00

Tilly's bedroom is getting a makeover. Grandma and Grandpa Stillson came over today to get the room ready to paint, caulking, sanding, taping, etc. I spent Saturday evening taking all her shelves and trinkets and collections and toys and posters and STUFF out of her room (who knew a 9 year old could have so much stuff). She and Grandma went to buy the paint yesterday. Tilly picked a lovely shade of ORANGE for the walls. Yes, Orange...to match her comforter and sheets. The room should be very Tilly when we are done.
Thankfully we have a perfectionist painter in the family...grandma is an painting expert who will do a beautiful job.

Disenfranchisement

2008-09-25T19:38:00.008-04:00

As a felon I thought one of my basic American rights was taken away…the right to vote. I knew for a fact that while I was serving time in federal prison that I was not allowed to vote, but I also thought I was condemned to eternal political silence. Through my own ignorance and my foolish belief that the other prisoners I met were experts on being a felon, I believed I was banned from voting for good.

Not true. In fact my voter registration acknowledgment notice that came in the mail this week is proof that, at least in Indiana, felons are allowed to vote after they are released from prison.

After doing some research I realized that my misunderstanding of a felon’s political alienation was not completely unfounded. Under various state laws, many are barred from voting because they have felony records. This includes not just prison inmates (48 states), parolees (33 states) and probationers (29 states) but also 12 states permanently bar (at least some) felons from voting.

The fact that I can never be a school teacher or fire fighter are among the indirect or collateral consequences to my conviction. I can not be notary public. Felons cannot receive food stamps or live in public housing. I can not own a firearm or go to Canada. I do not have to worry about getting called for Jury Duty as felons cannot sit on juries (could I call this a perk?). Also, Indiana is one of 5 states that simply deny felons from ever holding public office. I may not be able to hold public office…but I can have my say and vote for those who are on the ticket!

Endless Summer

2008-09-22T20:42:00.004-04:00

Today the sun was directly over the equator, meaning an equal amount of daylight and darkness, marking the Autumnal Equinox. In other words BYE BYE SUMMER. I love summer and cannot bear to see it go. Fall isn’t all that bad but it's really just a prelude to winter in these parts.
We have made many memories this summer. Here are my family’s top 20 favorite things that happened this summer (in no particular order)…

Our family vacation to visit Arizona and California was filled with great memories,including Disney Land!
We adopted our dog Grizzom…which was a dream come true for Tilly
Tilly and Cooper enjoyed watching their duckling grow into a duck who enjoyed the lake with them
Little League Baseball
Tilly and Cooper loved their teenage babysitter, Tara. Their favorite activities with her were playing practical jokes and making funny videos
I got a grill and a patio table to enjoy eating outdoors
Cooper’s outing with Uncle Jeff, Summer and Grandpa to Chicago to watch the Cubs!
Spending time with Stephanie, Carly and Zack who visited from Nevada
Spending all day at the Elkhart County 4-H Fair
Family, Fireworks and our Lemonade stand on the 4th of July
Soccer! Soccer and more Soccer!
Winning our Wii!
Church Camp
Flying a kite off the back of the boat
VBS
The kids 1st swim in the Pacific Ocean..I actually had my feet in 2 oceans this summer
Tilly’s dance recital
Family Baseball games at the lake
The Apple Festival
Skiing, boating, swimming and fishing at the lake…grandpa said he would wait at least one more weekend to put the ski boat away for winter

I hate to think of the cold winter days to come. So for now I will keep dreaming of endless summer.

Festival Fun!

2008-09-21T16:26:00.012-04:00

We throughly enjoyed the Apple Festival in Nappanee this weekend. Living only 7 blocks away from the fun, the kids and I rode our bikes back and forth to the festival throughout the weekend. I love small town festivals, all our friends and neighbors are uptown enjoying the food, contests, rides and entertainment.

Here are some of the highlights...

Cooper won 2nd place in the frog jumping contest.Tilly walked in the parade with the American Girl Club.

Cooper competed in the pedal pull contest. He had a full pull in the first heat and ended up with 4th place pulling 400 pounds.

Tilly entered her dog Grizzom in the Pets and Pals Parade of Fashion. She and Grizzom dressed in Hawaiian attire. They won Best in Show. Her prizes included a trophy, ribbon and $50.00. She was very excited.

I am a Phoenician at heart!

2008-09-18T21:20:00.003-04:00

You know you're from Arizona when...

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
Most of the restaurants in town have the first name 'El' or 'Los.'
You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
You can say 'Hohokam' and people don't think you're clearing your throat.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over l00 degrees.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees.
You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your car. Refer to # 5.
The pool can be warmer than you are.
Kids will ask, 'What's a mosquito?'
People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Monday Night Football starts at 5:00 instead of 8:00.
Sunday afternoon Football starts at 10 AM
You know that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
You can (correctly) pronounce the words: 'Saguaro,' 'Ocotillo,' ' Tempe,', 'Gila Bend,' 'San Xavier,' 'Canyon de Chelly,' 'Mogollon Rim,' 'Cholla,' and 'Ajo.'
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is walking on the streets.
You experience third-degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car.
You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.
Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with 'in case of rain......'
When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.
Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.

My Dad

2008-09-15T21:19:00.004-04:00

My dad is 59 years old, but he has the health of a 90 year old man. This weekend he has deteriorated fast, he is unable to walk, or bear weight at all. He can not use his hands or even turn himself over on the bed. He is in extreme pain from gout which is out of control because he can not take anti-inflammatory medicine because of his diabetes. He is currently laying in a hospital bed 2000 miles away from me...and I have been feeling helpless. My sister told me on the phone today that when they drove him to the emergency room today she thought that he may never come back to his own bed.
But tonight I am starting to feel hope. I believe in the power of prayer and ask that you join me as I do the only thing I can do from 2000 miles away...pray.

New Canidate for President

2008-09-08T08:16:00.001-04:00

Click HERE to see something that will really shake up the election in 2008!

Cooper Wipes Out!

2008-09-01T19:22:00.001-04:00

Tilly Wipes Out!

2008-09-01T18:21:00.007-04:00

Open Season or Open Comments

2008-08-27T22:44:00.004-04:00

While reading news on a local news site I was appalled by the comments left by readers. Many of these comments were uninformed, slanderous, ignorant rants and they were posted ANONYMOUSLY.

This is not the first time I have read a news story and then scrolled down to read the comments and came away shocked by the unfiltered craziness, attacks, slander, inane and off topic comments that spew from those who can hide behind the anonymity of the computer. Blogs and social networking sites are a great place to bark your own skewed version of the truth but not on news sites.

Free speech should and is protected but I believe this has nothing to do with free speech. News readers and newspaper editors disagree widely on how comments should be moderated on news websites. It brings up the good point that if editors are expected to avoid anonymous sources unless absolutely necessary, then anonymous commenting should be similarly shunned.

Not to mention that these news stories are about human beings with families and lives. The nature of all the comments I read today were more like OPEN SEASON rather than OPEN COMMENTS. In my opinion these anonymous open forums on news sites provide little that contributes to public discourse. There has to be a better way to engage community.

Sunday at the Lake

2008-08-25T20:53:00.002-04:00

This Commercial Charged Me Up

2008-08-22T18:01:00.006-04:00

I was watching a show on Animal Planet with my daughter, Tilly, when I saw a commercial that peaked my interest. Usually I fast forward through commercials but I actually hit rewind so that I could watch this commercial again.

It was a cartoon with a catchy, if not corny little ditty about God's love, with a brief logo for Interstate Batteries appearing at the end. I do not think this commercial is new, but it was new to me. I checked them out on the web...Interstate Batteries is a privately owned company, according to Forbes Magazine it is the 422nd largest privately owned company.

It is a Christian business with a mission statement that states:

To glorify God as we supply our customers worldwide with top quality, value-priced batteries, related electrical power-source products, and distribution services. Further, our mission is to provide our partners and Interstate Batteries System of America, Inc. (IBSA) with opportunities which are profitable, rewarding and growth-oriented.

The company’s Web site includes a “chaplain’s” page.

The purpose of this 30 second commercial is larger than selling batteries, but I think I am sold on Interstate Batteries. Here is the commercial with an introduction by the Chairman of the Board.

This Lobster Rocked!

2008-08-21T20:08:00.009-04:00

This past Sunday friends of ours returned home from their vacation in Maine. They had 30 lbs of fresh caught lobsters shipped to them. The lobsters beat our friends home because their flights were canceled, but the lobsters survived their overnight stay in the fridge. We joined our generous friends in their back yard to boil sweet corn Charlie's and lobsters, we ate until we could eat no more.

I ate two whole lobsters myself! What a treat!

To Blog or not to Blog

2008-08-21T19:58:00.000-04:00

I am not going to waste my words on excuses why I have not blogged for the last couple weeks.
My computer is not broken, my fingers are not broken, I have not been sick or out of the country.
The truth is that in the free moments that I have had I choose to veg out on the couch watching the Olympics or some mindless reality show.

Now, there it is.

Florida

2008-08-09T07:28:00.003-04:00

I just finished packing for my business trip to Florida. This morning at 9:45 Cooper and Tilly both have soccer games. I will take them to the field, stay for a half hour and run back home to catch my ride to the airport. Tilly and Cooper and the dog are staying at Grandmas until I return on Wednesday.
My coworker and I will be staying at the Sullivan's condo in Siesta Key and working at the Sarasota Hyatt.
I have felt like I am in a dead run for the last three weeks, this will mark the end of the meetings and I can get back to my regular busy instead of my crazy busy.

Unshaken

2008-08-02T12:03:00.006-04:00

Stress has been creeping into my life lately. I feel a bit discouraged and I am letting "things" get to me. I even took it out on my kids last night, being a grouch when I should have been treasuring my time with them. I got up last night and re-read an email that my father-in-law sent to me at work this week.

"Rocki: Just wanted to give you a few words of encouragement today. With everything you have going on I bet you could use some. I've been their many times. Isaiah 6:1 Isaiah sees God sitting on his throne. As satan is stumping over the world our Lord sits, unshaken! Through all events of history God remains unshaken. What a picture of his perfect tranquillity, ease, dignity, & self confidence. Satan is restless, God is resting. Satan is turmoil. God is tranquility. There are things that have to be done, work that has to be taken care of, responsibilities that need to be met; but none of these things should rob us of of our inner peace. When we loose our soul rest, regardless of of how Biblical or important our works are it is an indication that we are losing our connection to God. We need to be careful not to cave in to the pressures of life. Remember to rest in the Lord & wait patiently on him. Psalm 37:7 I read these verses this morning and wanted to share them. We are proud of you ! Love J.B. "

I feel so blessed to have a father-in-law here on earth that will help me remember that I have a Father in Heaven who can not be shaken.

Lord, may my connection to you never be shaken lose by the business and stress of life, you are my source of power, you are my source of peace.

Show Season

2008-07-26T19:45:00.004-04:00

I just finished my first long day of work at the Godfrey Dealer Meeting at the Century Center. I will be working the next 21 days straight without a day off. In the next few weeks I have 3 boat manufacturer's dealer meetings where I set up a display and gear store. These 3 manufacturers are my clients, I manage their accounts, online stores and promotional items all year long. Their dealer meetings are big events with hundreds of dealers coming in from all over North America (or in Rinker's case all over the world).

Next weekend is the Smoker Craft/ Sylvan meeting at the Century Center, the following weekend I will be traveling to Florida for the Rinker Dealer Meeting. Tomorrow will be another long day of selling, schmoozing, setting up and tearing down displays, packing and unpacking merchandise. I will leave my house at 6:30am and not return for at least 14 hours.

I just read what I wrote and felt convicted of complaining when I should really say...
I am thankful to have a job!
With all of the plant closings, layoffs and shortened work weeks in Elkhart County, I am blessed to have a job that pays my bills. Lord, help me remember this as I persevere through the next 3 weeks.

Add these Ladies to Your Prayer List

2008-07-23T21:20:00.003-04:00

I ask that you join me in prayer for 3 of the ladies who are on my prayer list:

Maxine

Maxine asked if I would pray with her when I visited the ladies in C10 at the Elkhart County Jail on Monday night. Maxine is a woman probably in her 40s who told me that she has been in and out of prison and jail her entire life. She said that this was the hardest time she has ever done and never has it bothered her to be locked up like it is this time. She said that she has been on her knees praying and that her cellmates make fun of her. She was recently hurt by a game of charades in which she was imitated as a crazy woman on her knees. She said she does not get any sleep and that she does not know how much more she can take.

Lindy

Lindy is a woman also at the Elkhart County Jail who has not been able to shake her addictions to drugs and life on the street. She has many people who care about her and want to help her and she has turned her back to them time and time again. Please pray that this time God will shake her to the core, that He will set her aside for as long as it takes to make this stretch in prison different. She is a bright young woman who would have an incredible testimony if she could make it out of the cycle of defeat.

Casey

Casey is my friend from federal prison. She is currently in a halfway house in Minnesota. I have wrote before about her struggle to start her new life after being released from prison. She has not been able to reconnect with her 2 kids the way that she had hoped. As if the task of starting over was not hard enough, her case manager at the half way house has been very hard to get along with and is making it difficult to find steady work, see her kids or even go to church.
I think many who return to life on the outside after spending time in prison find themselves in the same position as Casey. She has the motivation, but the obstacles are so great and the task so huge that she feels beaten down. In a couple weeks she will be released from the halfway house and she will face a new set of challenges. Please continue to pray for her as she rebuilds her life.

Wii-nner

2008-07-22T20:57:00.004-04:00

Don't you love it when something nice happens unexpectedly?

I won at Wii game system in a drawing held as part of the grand opening celebration at Rita's Conveince Store. Rita's is the new gas station on the east side of Nappanee that rebuilt after the tornado destroyed it in October.

I saw the prizes for the drawing on the wall when I went in to get my morning coffee about 2 weeks ago. I knew Cooper and Tilly would love to have a Wii so I signed my name to the entry blank every morning when I bought my coffee (the rules stated you could enter once a day). When they called to tell me I had won the Wii I could hardly beleive it! Cooper and Tilly are going to be so excited. They are at church camp this week and do not return home until tomorrow evening. I can't wait to see their faces! I know Wii will really enjoy this prize!

God Provides

2008-07-20T19:21:00.005-04:00

When I arrived at the halfway house in Michigan City, Indiana, after serving 2 years in prison, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was so anxious to get there because it was a stepping stone to being free and back with my children. After a long bus ride from Pekin IL, I arrived with 1 pair of sweatpants, 2 white tees, one pair of shorts, tennis shoes, prison issue boots and some under garments in a bag a friend at the prison had crocheted for me.

Federal inmates can serve the last 10% of their sentence, up to 6 months, in a contracted halfway house; the closest one to South Bend is Michigan City. The halfway I was to live in housed mainly inmates from Gary and the surrounding areas. There were 52 men and 5 women living there at the time…all just out of prison. The only reports I had of this halfway house were through inmates that I met who had been there before. One woman that I knew left for halfway a few months before me, she was to serve the last 6 months of her 10 year sentence there but she was attacked in the halfway house laundry room and beaten so badly that she was in intensive care for weeks. This place was definitely scarier than prison, mostly because of all the men.

My aunt and cousin brought me some clothes, my other cousin sent a bag with toiletries and cosmetics, another aunt sent sheets and a pillow, my mom sent some pocket money and a phone card. I set myself up in the room I shared with the other ladies and put my blinders on to focus on the challenge at hand. I needed to find a job to be able to get weekend passes to be able to go home to see my kids. I did not have a driver’s license, car or anyone localy to help me get around. I took the city bus to all the locations that I could think of that would want to hire an ex-con who wanted a job for only 3 months. It was late March and I got a seasonal job working at a Jewel food store in their bedding plant tent and floral department for $6.00/hour. I started out walking to work (it took me about an hour) or riding the bus (that took about an hour and 15 min.). After about 2 months I saved enough money to get my license back and my aunt gave me my late grandfather’s old station wagon.

Everywhere I wanted to go I had to write down on an itinerary and call in to report that I was there. They do not make it easy to get done what you need to get done. The halfway house administration does not seem to care if you are successful at re-establishing yourself they just want you to obey the incredible amount of house rules. The staff was sometimes mean, always disrespectful and ever changing. My time in the halfway house was harder time than being in prison and the only thing that got me through was the strength of God. I was able to see my children occasionally and that was a huge motivation to keep my head up even when it was difficult. I have to admit I did make a few tearful phone calls to my mom while I was there but most the time I felt strong, empowered and I knew more than ever that I had chosen solid ground upon which to grow.

I write this memory from just 3 short years ago from my computer... in my own home… where I am raising my children. I have a job that affords me to pay my mortgage every month. I have family and friends who love me and have supported me in ways that have made a real difference in my life.

Sometimes when I am driving up to my house I just slow down and stare in awe as I pass my yard and then drive up my driveway, I can hardly fathom that it is mine. What a blessing. It is mine through a series of miraculous, out of the ordinary, people and events. My job is mine because a man of God listened to a voice that he could not ignore. My children are with me because their grandparents trust in God. No one can tell me that these things are not part of God’s supernatural provision. My ordinary life is an extraordinary miracle to me. My life is His, as He has given me mine.

County Fair Fun

2008-07-19T15:27:00.000-04:00